Almost every day, Mr. Steve Bard, collector extraordinaire and Master of the Unusual, sends me a silly funny, amusement, joke or photo, to brighten up my day. I'll share some of them with you here!
A Police Officer's Dream Question: Vincent Morrissey's police brutality lawsuit went to trial in New Haven, Conn., in 1997, and the alleged perp, West Haven police officer Ralph Angelo, was on the witness stand, claiming that Morrissey himself had provoked the encounter by swinging at Angelo. Morrissey's attorney, openly skeptical of Angelo's version of the incident, asked Angelo to demonstrate to the jury just how hard Morrissey had swung at him. Before the lawyer could clarify what he meant by "demonstrate," Officer Angelo popped the lawyer on the chin, staggering him and forcing an immediate recess. [New Haven Register, 12-20-97]
Creme de la Weird
In Milwaukee in 1997, Gary Arthur Medrow, 53, was charged with 24 counts of impersonating a police officer in connection with his unique obsession. What Medrow does, according to police (who have arrested him various times over the last 30 years for the same thing), is telephone a woman and try to convince her to lift another person in the room and carry her or him a short distance, sometimes telling the woman that he's a police officer and that it's an official request. [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 10-7-97]
A 49-year-old woman in Scotland passed away in 1999, only the third starvation death among the world's alleged 5,000 disciples of Australian Ellen Greve who follow a no-food, no-water, "breatharian" diet. Greve sells her philosophy ("liberation from the drudgery of food and drink") to Westerners in part as conferring a spiritual connection with third-world hunger. [Edmonton Journal-The Times (London), 9-26-99]
Can't Possibly Be True
Only-in-California Rage: Ms. Cathomas Starbird, a member of the Sausalito, Calif., school board, was sentenced to 15 days in jail in 1999 for assaulting a female friend who had joined her and her husband to celebrate the husband's birthday. At the couple's houseboat after dinner, Ms. Starbird became furious at her friend, jumped on her, and bit her on the face because she had refused to engage in oral sex with the husband. [Associated Press, 4-8-99]
Ms. India Scott of Detroit dated both Darryl Fletcher and Brandon Ventimeglia starting in 1993 and the next year gave birth to a boy. Neither man knew about the other, and she told each he was the father. For two years, Scott managed to juggle the men's visitation rights, but in March 1997 when she announced she was marrying a new boyfriend and leaving the area, both Fletcher and Ventimeglia separately filed for custody of "his" son. Only then did the men find out about each other. In May 1997, they took blood tests to settle the paternity once and for all. (Of course, the test revealed that the actual father was yet another man.) [St. Petersburg Times-AP, 5-14-97]
Great Art!
Featured at the Donn Roll Contemporary Museum in Sarasota, Fla., in 1996 was Ms. Charon Luebbers' Menstrual Hut, a 6-by-6-by-5-foot isolation booth to symbolize the loneliness that society has forced upon menstruating women. Accompanying it were 28 canvasses created by Luebbers' pressing her face into whatever discharge was present in each of the 28 days of her cycle for one month, to show the contrast. [Sarasota Herald Tribune, 5-3-96]
A 1998 Los Angeles Times report described the unusual, sustained success, in turbulent economic times, of the Cat Theater of Moscow, Russia, whose 300-seat shows remained sold out weeks in advance. Despite conventional wisdom that cats are untrainable, proprietor Yuri Kuklachev had them climbing poles, walking tightropes, pushing toy trains, leapfrogging over human backs, and balancing atop tiny platforms. [Schenectady Gazette-L.A. Times, 1-23-98]
Least Competent Criminals
Ronnie Darnell Bell, 30, was arrested in Dallas in 1998 and charged with attempting, all alone, to rob the Federal Reserve Bank. (In the movie "Die Hard With a Vengeance," knocking off the New York Federal Reserve Bank required a small army of men and truckloads of weapons.) According to police, Bell was initially confused because there were no tellers, so he handed a security guard his note, reading, "This is a bank robbery of the Dallas Federal Reserve Bank, of Dallas, Texas, give me all the money. Thank you, Ronnie Darnell Bell." The guard pushed a silent alarm while an oblivious Bell chatted amiably, revealing to the guard that only minutes earlier he had tried to rob a nearby Postal Service office but that "they threw me out." [Dallas Morning News, 2-27-98]
Obsessions
Author-athlete Sri Chinmoy sponsored an endurance race for runners in New York City in 1998, won by Istvan Sipos of Hungary, who finished the 3,100-mile course in 47 days (running from 6 a.m. until midnight). Four other runners competed on the concrete grounds of a Queens school, circling the facility about 115 times every day (only prizes: a trophy and a photo album). Said one runner, "To me, what the race is all about is the blossoming of the human spirit," but according to the wife of another, the runners are "nuts." [Washington Post, 7-31-98]
In January, Fort Worth, Texas, murder defendant Robert William Greer Jr. agreed to plead guilty to a 1988 killing provided that the judge kept him in the local jail for two more weeks before sending him to the penitentiary - - so that he could be assured of seeing the Super Bowl on TV. (Greer thought TV privileges in prison were less certain.) Greer was excited about the prospects that his favorite team, the Minnesota Vikings, would go all the way. Two days after his guilty plea, the Atlanta Falcons beat the Vikings to knock them out of the playoffs, but the guilty plea stood. [Tyler Morning Telegraph-AP, 1-17-99]
Scripps Howard News Service profiled former lawyer James Kelley of Washington, D.C., in 1997, one of a small group at his local church who are enthusiastic Episcopalians but who do not believe in God. Said Kelley, "We all love the incense, the stained glass windows, the organ music, the vestments, and all of that. It's drama. It's aesthetics. It's the ritual. That's neat stuff. I don't want to give all that up just because I don't believe in God." [Plain Dealer (Cleveland), 5-31-97]
Vampire Bats Kill 13 People in Brazil Fri Apr 2, 6:01 PM ET
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters) - Rabies-carrying vampire bats killed at least 13 people in a remote Amazon town in Brazil's northern state of Para last month, authorities said on Friday.
The state health care department said the thumb-sized creatures had attacked about 300 people -- an unusually high number -- since March 2 in the riverside Portel area, next to the world's biggest estuarine archipelago of Marajo.
"All the deceased had a history of recent bat attacks and six of them had confirmed human rabies from bat bites," a department spokeswoman said.
Other bite victims received vaccines and other anti-rabies treatment after March 19, when authorities became aware of the problem.
The spokeswoman said government scientists suspect the attacks are linked to a change in the bats' migration pattern caused by deforestation.
"There is no guarantee that we won't have more cases," she added.
The most recent death occurred last weekend.
Vampire bats normally feed on the blood of large birds and sleeping cattle, lapping it from cuts they make with their teeth. They often transmit rabies to cattle.
Quirky reasons given for crashes Apr 5 2004 Daily Post
WOMEN getting undressed, invisible trees and "rogue" roundabouts have all been cited as the cause of accidents.
The strange explanations for crashes were outlined in the latest issue of company vehicle publication Fleet News. Speeding is only the seventh most-frequent cause of road crashes.
The publication also listed some of the more extraordinary things, such as a dead goat, left in cars by executives when they return them to their company. Fleet drivers have given a variety of reasons for accidents.
They included:
* The driver who blamed his collision on a "bloody woman".
It later transpired she was in her upstairs bedroom window getting undressed and the man was so preoccupied watching her that he crashed his Aston Martin DB7 into a gate pillar on his house.
* "There were too many mini roundabouts in the road and I drove into the back of the car on the one that shouldn't have been there."
* "I swerved to hit a tree that wasn't there." p"The horse came out of nowhere and landed on my car."
* The driver who said he was impressed with the reversing siren - so much so that he backed into a wall while listening to it.
* "The car in front had better brakes so I was unable to compete with the stopping distance and ended up hitting it."
Hedge dispute might cost couple their home
LONDON (AP) - When Paul Derwent and his wife Janet cut down 25 feet (7.6 meters) of laurel hedge on the boundary of their property in May 2000, they set off a legal dispute that now looks likely to cost them their home.
The Derwents' neighbor, Robert Seeckts, a lawyer, sued them for removing the hedge, which had formed a screen between his home and theirs in the southern English village of Groombridge.
Three appeal judges on Thursday threw out the Derwents' appeal against a county court ruling that the hedge belonged to Seeckts and they had therefore acted illegally in removing it.
Lord Justice Carnwath described the Derwents' action as "not only unneighbourly but wrong in law."
The Derwents said they will have to sell their 600,000-pound (US$1.1 million) home, Linden House, to pay their 350,000-pound (US$630,000) legal bill.
But "at least we shall know the true boundaries when we put it on the market," Derwent told reporters after the hearing.
Beefeater Gives Blow By Blow Account Of Execution Bloopers
LONDON (Wireless Flash) -- A British author is hoping to make a killing on a new book about botched executions.
Geoffrey Abbott served many years as a Yeoman Warder at the Tower of London before writing his book "The Executioner Always Chops Twice" (St. Martin's Press).
The bloody good book details badly executed executions like the snafu behind John Bartendale's hanging in 1634. His body was buried near the scaffold, but when a passer-by saw the dirt moving above Bartendale's grave, the stranger dug up the "living corpse."
Then there was James Scott, Duke of Monmouth, who was led to the chopping block in 1685. Scott knew the executioner was notoriously inaccurate, and tipped him six guineas to do a good job.
It didn't help. It took three or four whacks before the executioner finally cut off Scott's head with a knife.
Finally, in 1985, it took 45 minutes to find a vein in the scarred body of serial killer and junkie Peter Morin so that he could be killed by lethal injection.
Top doc backs picking your nose and eating it
Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to a top Austrian doctor.
Innsbruck-based lung specialist Prof Dr Friedrich Bischinger said people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies.
He says society should adopt a new approach to nose-picking and encourage children to take it up.
Dr Bischinger said: "With the finger you can get to places you just can't reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner.
"And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of strengthening the body's immune system.
"Medically it makes great sense and is a perfectly natural thing to do. In terms of the immune system the nose is a filter in which a great deal of bacteria are collected, and when this mixture arrives in the intestines it works just like a medicine.
"Modern medicine is constantly trying to do the same thing through far more complicated methods, people who pick their nose and eat it get a natural boost to their immune system for free."
He pointed out that children happily pick their noses, yet by the time they have become adults they have stopped under pressure from a society that has branded it disgusting and anti social.
He said: "I would recommend a new approach where children are encouraged to pick their nose. It is a completely natural response and medically a good idea as well."
And he pointed out that if anyone was really worried about what their neighbour was thinking, they could still enjoy picking their nose in private if they still wanted to get the benefits it offered.
Man Burned After Firing Rocket Inside Car Tue Mar 30, 5:48 PM ET
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - Shannon Kramer's plans to fire a rocket toward his girlfriend went awry when the firework ricocheted inside his car and dived between his legs, bursting in a display that burned hair and skin from his feet to his groin, police said.
Kramer, 35, told The Florida Times-Union he lit a fuse on the 6-inch-rocket, but wasn't able to get it out the window of his Ford Mustang before it went off.
Seconds later, after the rocket blasted around inside the car, Kramer was burned and temporarily blinded.
"I thought I was dead," he said. "I couldn't see, I couldn't hear. I went to stand up and I couldn't walk."
Kramer said he suffered second-degree burns and a cut on one leg. His eyelashes and a lot of body hair are gone and an outline of his sandals is burned onto his feet.
Jacksonville police were called to the explosion about 9:30 p.m. Sunday and were told a man who had been threatening his girlfriend with a bomb had a mishap.
Kramer said he was only playing a prank and was intending to fire the rocket out the window as he passed.
Police referred the case to the State Attorney's Office, but prosecutors declined to charge Kramer, police spokesman Ken Jefferson said.
Kramer said the rocket, which resembled a bottle rocket, was the diameter of a golf ball.
"I had a couple but this was the biggest," he said. "No more of those."
Vietnamese Worship Dead Whale Mon Apr 5, 8:03 AM ET
HANOI, Vietnam - Thousands of Vietnamese are making pilgrimages to a beach in southern Vietnam to worship a dead whale.
More than a thousand people - many from hundreds of miles distant - have journeyed to burn incense near the whale carcass discovered on the beach Friday, said a police officer in the Thanh Phu District of Ben Tre province.
Many villagers, especially fishermen, worship the giant mammals and believe a dead whale washing ashore is a sign of good fishing to come.
The 82-foot whale has started to decompose, but it could take weeks to decay completely, said the officer, who identified himself only as Minh. The villagers plan to use the bones to build a temple to honor the whale, he said.
A smaller whale washed ashore last month in the same area, about 100 miles southwest of Ho Chi Minh City, and the villagers have since built a shrine for it, Minh said.
Harvard teacher bilks friends, falls for scam
Wednesday, March 31, 2004 Posted: 4:58 PM EST (2158 GMT)
BOSTON, Massachusetts (Reuters) -- Sometimes the scammer just turns out to become, well, the scammee.
A former Harvard University instructor of medicine who was arrested on Tuesday for conning friends, colleagues and Internet acquaintances out of $600,000 was himself duped when he trusted other swindlers with the money, police said.
Weidong Xu, 38, quickly lost his ill-gotten loot by investing it in a dubious Nigerian business offer he received by e-mail. The spam message promised gains of $50 million, police said.
"He's as smart as can be," said Boston police detective Steve Blair. "But greed got the better of him."
Weidong was arraigned on larceny charges at the Roxbury District Court in Boston Wednesday and pleaded not guilty. He is being held on $600,000 bail.
Weidong started his scam in July when he told his 35 unsuspecting donors he was trying to set up a SARS research center in China at the peak of respiratory disease's epidemic.
One of his friends even went so far as to take out a second mortgage on his house to lend him money.
Police said they arrested Weidong, a citizen of China, after he was spotted quarreling with one annoyed donor who wanted his $5,000 back.
Neither Harvard University nor the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, where Weidong worked as a researcher until last week, knew of the scheme, police said. Dana-Farber terminated Weidong last week, prompting his tenure at Harvard to end. His teaching was contingent on his job at Dana-Farber.
A spokesman for the Harvard School of Medicine declined to comment on the case.
Python Tries To Eat Owner
Police Rescue Woman From Snake
POSTED: 8:08 am EDT April 5, 2004
BOSTON -- Police rescued a Boston woman from the jaws of her 7-foot Burmese python after the snake clamped onto her arm and started squeezing.
Wanda Nunes, 43, told the Boston Herald that her python Moma went for her arm shortly before she planned to feed the snake two rats Saturday morning.
"She must have smelled the rats because she reached back and lunged for my arm," Nunes said. "Before I knew it, she was all wrapped around me. ... Every time I tried to pry her off or move, she just got tighter around my leg."
Her 13-year-old son called police after trying, and failing, to pull the snake off his mother.
Two police officers were able to pry Moma off Nunes and put her back in her cage.
Nunes said the snake was part of the family, and she had no plans to get rid of her.
"The police wanted to put her down," she said. "But I begged them not to."
Toddler TV Habits Tied to Attention Deficit Mon Apr 5, 2004 07:46 AM ET
By Michael Conlon
CHICAGO (Reuters) - The more television children watch between the ages of 1 and 3, the greater their risk of having attention problems at age 7, U.S. researchers reported on Monday.
They found that each hour of television that preschoolers watched per day increased the risk of attention problems such as attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder, by almost 10 percent later on.
The study, published in the April issue of Pediatrics, the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, adds inattention to the list of harmful effects of excessive television viewing that also includes obesity and violent behavior.
Frederick Zimmerman of the University of Washington in Seattle, one of the authors, said it was impossible to say what a "safe" level of TV viewing would be for children between the ages of 1 and 3.
"Each hour has an additional risk," he said in an interview. "You might say there's no safe level since there's a small but increased risk" with each hour.
"Things are a trade-off. Some parents might want to take that risk. We didn't find a safe level in that sense."
The data from 2,500 children covered by the study found that they watched an average of 2.2 hours per day at age 1 and 3.6 hours per day at age 3. But some watched 12 hours or more.
The ages are significant because brain development continues through those years, the study said.
"This study suggests that there is a significant and important association between early exposure to television and subsequent attentional problems," said Dimitri Christakis, a physician at Children's Hospital and Regional Medical Center in Seattle who headed the study.
"We know from national estimates that children watch an average of two to three hours of television a day in the 1- to 3-year-old age group, and that as many as 30 percent of all children have a television in their bedroom," he said.
"There is a tremendous and growing reliance on television for a variety of reasons. However parents should be advised to limit their young child's television viewing," Christakis said.
'Blasphemy' outrage as Cathedral used in ad Apr 5 2004 By Louise Davies Daily Post Staff
AN ADVERTISING campaign featuring a "crucified" semi-naked model with Liverpool RC Metropolitan Cathedral in the background has sparked anger amongst the city's religious leaders.
The image, which is promoting a new range of designer T-shirts, has been condemned as "blasphemous".
The photograph features former Page 3 model Debbie Turpin, 23, on a cross with Liverpool's Roman Catholic Cathedral in the background and bears the caption "Don't sacrifice your style".
Liverpool-born model Ms Turpin is covered by just a T-shirt printed with the logo and her tortured facial expression has been described as reminiscent of the controversial Mel Gibson movie, The Passion Of The Christ.
The photograph, which was commissioned by Chester-based internet fashion company bdbx, can be seen on the firm's website www.bdbx.com
Monsignor Peter Cookson, Roman Catholic dean of Liverpool Metropolitan Cathedral, said: "It's bad taste, disrespectful and, if you are a believer, it is blasphemous.
"People think they can do anything they like with religious imagery these days and I'm upset that anybody should be using a distasteful picture like this, with our cathedral in the background, to sell their products.
"The boundaries of what's acceptable to use to sell goods has drawn back, but I have never seen anything as outrageous as this, certainly not something which uses our building.
"The cross is a recognised Christian symbol and it is very tasteless.
"We would certainly not give anyone permission to take a photograph like this outside the cathedral.
"But I doubt if there is any law preventing this, so it seems there is not much we can do about it. But it is very distressing."
Monsignor Cookson was backed by Church of England Canon Anthony Hawley.
He said: "It is a shameless marketing ploy. It is nearly Easter and this is in very poor taste.
"It should be a time of reflection and great joy at the resurrection of Christ and this is appalling, it is outrageous.
"It is something that we would like to see removed from the website."
Council leaders said the stunt was an attempt to cash in on Liverpool's Culture City status.
Cllr Warren Bradley, executive member for Leisure & Tourism, said: I'm disgusted. It is Easter and we should be reflecting on Christ's teachings. We are celebrating the Year of Faith in Liverpool and we don't want to be associated with this type of image.
"It's not something we will be supporting as a city. We are the European Capital of Culture and there are so many good things going on in the city.
"This is not something we want to be associated with.
"It is just rank commercialism at its worst."
Bdbx was set up by 20-year-old fashion designer Alec Stacey who said he stands by the campaign.
He added: "This fashion range is all about youth culture, being in your face, not being afraid to break the rules and challenging convention.
"The photograph reflects the rebellious nature of youth culture and I think the young people who see it will understand where we are coming from. Liverpool's the city of culture and bdbx is about youth culture and I thought it was appropriate."
Center displays works inspired by obsession and compulsion
By Helena Payne, Associated Press Writer, 4/4/2004
BOSTON -- A Boston artist has dedicated a museum exhibit to the type of behavior that causes some to separate their M&Ms into colors, pop bubble wrap until there is no more plastic to crush and focus all their attention on the most minute detail out of pure obsession.
The exhibit at the Boston Center for the Arts is called "OCD," as in obsessive compulsive disorder. Curator Matthew Nash said it's not about an illness, but how the creative process can be driven by a series of obsessions and compulsions.
"You should see my studio," said Nash, who has shown his art in Boston, Chicago, New York and Italy.
He is one of the people who separates his Skittles, M&Ms and Reese's Pieces into separate containers for each color. He used the latter two sugary goods to create his art for the OCD exhibit, which lasts through May 9 and features artists from New York, Pennsylvania, Virginia and Pennsylvania.
Using the Halloween-like colors in the candies, Nash made a grid that forms the images of soldiers, planes and other war-related pictures.
"The obsession of this is having bins and bins of M&Ms and hoping when you're done it looks like something," Nash said.
Nancy Havlick has bins with objects separated by color, but they're filled with sugar eggs. In an attempt to fuse her multicultural roots -- English and Armenian -- with her American upbringing, she decided to start her own tradition.
With the sugar eggs, Havlick creates "rugs." Make no mistake, they aren't to walk on.
The eggs are colored with a mixture of spices and foods often used in Armenia, including mahleb, sumac, almonds, apricots, paprika and rosebuds. She organizes them in decorative patterns on the floor.
"I'm deciding my own tradition. Rather than looking backwards, I'm forging ahead," Havlick said, laying one of the eggs in its position.
Havlick said she didn't recognize her obsession with making sugar eggs until she realized she has been doing it for a decade. But she has also realized another fixation: carving out an identity from her multiethnic past.
In her parents' generation, Havlick said, it was much more common to assimilate to the American culture rather than celebrate differences.
"My mother wasn't cooking Armenian food. We were having hot dogs and hamburgers," she said.
The sugar eggs have become her own way of bridging the past to the future and "to control the chaotic feelings" of life, she said.
And for her two children, the sugar egg tradition is working. Her 9-month-old son Jonathan's first words were "momma," "sugar" and "eggs."
Many of the exhibitors wanted their art to express something about both the creation process and the result.
New York artist Jason Dean wanted to conquer bubble wrap after working for an animation company where he did a lot of packing.
So he decided to make it an art project and see how much time it would take for him to pop the largest roll of bubble wrap he could find: 110 feet by 4 feet. It took about six hours.
That roll and other smaller ones are mounted on a wall of the exhibit like paper towels above a kitchen sink. There is also a video that features Dean's "popping spree."
"I kept thinking that they were a lot louder," he said. "It just sounded like fireworks and I kept thinking that someone is going to question this odd sound."
Joseph Trupia, another New York artist, used office supplies to make drawings called "What I can do in 40 hours" and "What I can do in 8 hours."
Another work in the OCD exhibit shows 600 photographs of rear ends.
"It was kind of a silly thing to do at first and it became a document of the process of looking," said Boston artist Luke Walker of his gluteus photography.
Norfolk, Va., artist Jennifer Schmidt became fascinated with the repetition of filling in ovals on test score sheets.
"The idea of the artwork showing evidence of repeated activity is something we see in a lot of different forms," said Martha Buskirk, a fellow at the Sterling and Francine Clark Art Institute in Williamstown, Mass., and author of "The Contingent Object of Contemporary Art."
The clinical disorder is even more consuming, said Diane Davey, a registered nurse and program director of the OCD Institute at McLean Hospital in Belmont.
"Obsessive compulsive disorder is really defined as someone who has unwanted or disturbing intrusive thoughts and who engages in a set of behaviors that are meant to sort of neutralize the thought and help them to feel less anxious," Davey said.
Davey said an exhibit like "OCD" might help someone to question his or her own behavior and seek help if necessary.
Teeth cells may grow other body parts
Scientists in Adelaide believe stem cells from baby teeth can be manipulated to grow human body parts.
Researchers at the Royal Adelaide Hospital's Hanson Institute are working on the groundbreaking research with the University of Adelaide.
The research could lead to growing bones, muscles and even brain cells.
It may benefit stroke patients or those with Parkinson's disease.
In another side to the work, cells from adult teeth and gums may be able to be used to prevent teeth falling out in old age.
Professor Mark Bartold of the school of dentistry says it may be possible for adult teeth to produce stem cells that can re-generate gums and jaw bones.
"What we hope to do is to use cells, which are isolated from tissues around teeth, and get special stem cells out of that area and then reimplant them back into an area around teeth," he said.
"Hopefully that will ultimately lead to regeneration of the gum tissues."
Professor Bartold says in the future we may not need dentures.
"There's been this concept for a long time that as you get older you get longer in the tooth and of course you can lose teeth as a result of that," he said.
"That would be one of our goals to certainly help people that are at risk of losing their teeth to retain them for a little bit longer.
"We are still a long way away from the actual reality of being able to do that - that's a long-term goal of the study."
Fat cat squeezed into German animal home
BERLIN (Reuters) - A German cat weighing six times the normal weight is so fat that it cannot take more than four steps without getting exhausted, officials at a Berlin animal shelter have said after receiving the six-year-old feline.
Mikesch, a black and white house cat weighing in at 18.5 kg (nearly 41 lbs), was taken away from his elderly owner on Thursday. The man, who was himself taken to a nursing home, had been feeding the cat two kg (4.4 lbs) of mince each day.
"You can call it cruelty to animals," said shelter veterinarian Karin Bartell on Friday, as the cat stared straight ahead with a bored look.
"It's a problem for joints and the heart. The cat can't clean itself because he is too fat. He walks three or four steps and is completely exhausted because the heart no longer works properly and the cat can't breathe normally anymore."
Mikesch has been put on a strict diet to reduce his size. Cats usually weigh between three and six kg and should eat no more than about 300 grams (10 ounces) of food each day, vets say.
A spokesman for Guinness World Records said they did not keep track of fat cats any longer but said the existing record was 18.55 kg (41 lb) -- a cat from Minnesota named O.T.
At sanctuary, barnyard love is blind Bovine buddy helps guide sightless mule By Kim Christiansen 9News
Their friendship was born in a snowstorm.
Charlie and Annie huddled up together for shelter last fall and have been inseparable ever since.
"They've been together for about six months, and every time we try to separate them out to give them a bath or give them their vaccinations, one will throw a fit, they'll start screaming at each other and we have to put them back together," says Tracy Hudock, co-director of the Black Forest Animal Sanctuary in El Paso County.
The black steer, Charlie, and the blind brown mule, Annie, eat together - even sharing a single feed bucket without trying to butt each other out of the way. They nap together in the sun.
They take care of each other, too.
"Without Charlie, she'd be bumping into the fences and not able to find her water," Hudock says.
"Annie can't see what Charlie looks like. She just follows him around and he's her seeing-eye steer."
Charlie's just a year old. Annie is about 20 years older. She was blinded by cataracts. Both came to Black Forest last year, rescued from slaughter.
The sanctuary is home to a couple of roosters, more than 20 horses, and a few goats, along with Charlie and Annie.
Many of the animals were neglected or abused. All are protected by the refuge of the ranch. Charlie and Annie's friendship is an extra measure of protection.
"Nobody picks on Annie this way. ... Nobody's going to beat up on Charlie, because he's the only steer on the property," Hudock says.
Hudock says she recently lost a grant because the group objected to seeing a steer and mule housed together, but she won't mess with what she calls a "perfect match."
She says Charlie and Annie are never lonely, and they remind her that friendship is found in unlikely places. And they have more to teach: "If you've got some extra love to give, there's some animal or some person that's going to love to accept that from you."
Fat Pandas too tired to mate
BEIJING, April 5 (Xinhuanet) -- Pandas raised in captivity in China are often overweight and have trouble mating, hampering efforts to conserve the rare species, a Hong Kong newspaper reported Sunday.
Female panda Yue Yue mates with male panda Da Di at the Giant Panda Protection and Research Center in Wolong, Southwest China's Sichuan Province, March 14, 2004. Researchers say grown-up pandas enter their 3-month-long estrous period from March every year.(Xinhua Photo)
"They're fat, their limbs lack strength, and they run out of gas quickly after standing up to have sex," the Chinese-language Wen Wei Po quoted Chinese panda expert Tang Chunxiang as saying at a conference in Hong Kong.
Tang said conservation workers have introduced an exercise regime to help the pandas lose weight and strengthen their limbs before mating season -- which usually starts in March -- the report said.
The giant panda is one of the world's most endangered species.
Clubs are out in force for baby seals
Clifford Krauss/NYT Monday, April 5, 2004
CAPS-AUX-MEULES, Quebec Buoyed by new markets in Russia and Poland, and by changing environmental calculations, Canada has lifted the quota for baby seal hunting to a rate unheard of in a half-century.
Animal rights advocates, horrified by the clubbing of infant harp seals, swayed public opinion against the hunt two decades ago. Environmentalists joined the campaign, fearing the species was being depleted. World sales collapsed. Even Canada reacted with revulsion and began stiffening regulations.
But now, a recovering market has turned into a quiet boom.
Here on ice patches of the Gulf of St. Lawrence, the hunt looks nearly as brutal as ever. For as far as the eye can see, dozens of burly men bearing clubs roam the ice in snowmobiles and spiked boots in search of silvery young harp seals. With one or two blows to the head, they crush the skulls, sometimes leaving the young animals in convulsions. The men drag the bodies to waiting fishing vessels or skin them on the spot, leaving a crisscross of bloody trails on the slowly melting ice.
On the trawler Manon Yvon, one hunter, Jocelyn Theriault, 35, said, "My father hunted for 45 years so I was born with the seal." His fellow hunters tease their prey with a sarcastic "welcome aboard" as they throw the fresh skins on their 65-foot boat. "We do it for the money," Theriault said, "but it's also a tradition in our blood."
Animal rights advocates aroused the world in the 1970s and 1980s with grim films of Canadian seal hunters clubbing white-coated seal pups not yet weaned off their mother's milk and then skinning some alive. That campaign - complete with photographs of Brigitte Bardot snuggling an infant seal - succeeded in shutting down American and European markets and forcing a virtual collapse of the hunt.
But over the last six years Canada's seal hunt, by far the world's largest and commercially most valuable, has undergone a gradual revival that has virtually escaped world attention. That trend is making an extraordinary jump this year, when the federal government will allow the killing of up to 350,000 baby harp seals, or more than one in three born, largely for their valuable fur.
That is a rise of more than 100,000 from recent years and the largest number hunted in at least 50 years.
Rising prices for the skins and contentions that the growing seal population is contributing to a shrinking fish population have eased the revival of an industry once roundly seen as barbaric. Meanwhile tougher hunting rules, including stiffer regulations to avert skinning the seals alive, have muted the effort to stop the hunt and eased the consciences of Canadians.
"This slaughter that everyone thinks has disappeared is back with a vengeance," said Rebecca Aldworth, an anti-hunt advocate with the International Fund for Animal Welfare.
The majority of the seals killed are under a month old, she said, and "at that age, the seals haven't eaten their first solid foods and have not learned to swim so they have no escape from the hunters."
The seal hunt never completely shut down. After the United States banned the importation of all seal products in 1972 and the European Union banned the importation of the white pelts of the youngest pups in 1983, killings fell to as low as 15,000 harp seals in 1985, mostly for meat and local handicrafts.
Embarrassed by all the publicity accusing Canada of inhumane treatment of animals, the government banned killing "whitecoats" - the youngest pups up to 12 days old. Now, only the seals that have shed their white coats and become "beaters" at about three weeks old are killed in these waters, for their black-spotted silvery fur. The killing of these young seals has so far raised fewer hackles, although critics say hunting methods have not been changed substantially.
The surprising rebound of the hunt off the Magdalen Islands and the northern coast of Newfoundland, where the harp seals migrate south from the Arctic every spring to give birth and then mate again, results in large part from a robust revival in the price of sealskin.
Seal products remain banned in the United States and they find only limited acceptance in most of Western Europe. But new markets have emerged in Russia, Ukraine and Poland, with a fashion trend to sealskin hats and accessories. Fur experts expect the Chinese market to grow, perhaps raising prices even higher.
"Markets are good, acceptance is growing and prices are well up," said Tina Fagen, executive director of the Canadian Sealers Association. She said the price for a top grade harp sealskin had more than doubled since 2001, to the equivalent of $42, approaching the prices of the early 1970s.
But the revival is also made possible by a Canadian seal population that was replenished during the long hunting slump. The Canadian harp seal population has tripled in size since 1970, according to the Department of Fisheries and Oceans, to more than five million today.
Fishermen contend that the abundance of seals is hindering a revival of cod stocks, since each adult seal eats an estimated ton of sea life annually. The fishermen get support from politicians who want to help revive economically depressed regions of Canada, and some scientists say their position is reasonable.
Animal rights advocates are revving up a campaign against the hunt, reviving calls for a tourism boycott of Canada and flying journalists in a helicopter over the breaking ice fields to photograph hunters killing the seals.
A new generation of celebrities has taken up the cause, including Paris Hilton, Christina Applegate and Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys pop group. At the last Sundance film festival, people wore a new T-shirt that said "Club sandwiches, not seals."
But so far the outrage has not echoed the way it once did, in part because Canada outlawed the killing of the youngest pups to follow Western European import guidelines and stiffened regulations and enforcement to assure that seals are killed quickly and not skinned alive.Seal hunting is worth about $30 million annually to the Newfoundland economy, which has been punished by the collapse of the cod fishery. About 5,000 seal hunters and 350 plant workers who process skins rely on the industry. Hundreds more hunting jobs are created in Quebec and Nova Scotia.
"I love it that the market is back," said Jason Spence, the 32-year-old captain of Ryan's Pride, a fishing boat that set sail from Newfoundland a few weeks ago for the seal hunt in the Gulf of St. Lawrence.
Arguing that hunting seals is no worse than "people taking the heads off chickens, butchering cows and butchering pigs," he added, "People are just trying to make a living."
The New York Times
Steve Bard J-UCAS Business Operations Seattle / IDS (206) 655-3022
Derek Leroy McSmith of Forest City, Ga., has filed 10,618 formal open-records requests to local governments in the last eight months, according to an Atlanta Journal-Constitution report. Most were, he said, to satisfy his curiosity about how government works, but one day, he asked for 490 magazines and on another day, he checked out 100 books (and soon, according to the librarian, walked outside and dropped them into the return bin). Each request must be logged in and processed, and a Forest City clerk spends almost full-time on McSmith's work. Several officials said that after they locate his documents, he only glances at them (or, if there is a cost involved, declines the documents). A local First Amendment advocate said the situation was merely "one of the downsides of a free and open society." [Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 12-26-03]
News That Sounds Like a Joke
(1) In November, police in Brooklyn, N.Y., set a trap and arrested a 44-year-old man and his 22-year-old associate for having kidnapped a teenager earlier in the day and having sought a $20,000 ransom from his mother; the sting was set up after the men, for some reason, released their victim (who went straight home) but continued to demand the ransom. (2) According to a December Miami Herald story, the condition of museum-goers who grow faint or suffer anxiety attacks while viewing art (or viewing too much in a short time) has a name, Stendhal's syndrome, that, although rare, has been studied for almost 200 years. [New York Post, 12-2-03] [Miami Herald, 12-2-03]
Fetishes on Parade
Steve Danos, 24, was arrested as allegedly the man who had been sneaking into young women's apartments to watch them sleep and to snuggle with them (and, sometimes, to fold their laundry) (Baton Rouge, La., October). And Stephen P. Linnen, 33, an assistant to Republican legislators in the Ohio House, was indicted on 56 counts stemming from an 18-month spree in which a naked man jumps out from hiding and photographs startled women's reactions (Columbus, Ohio, November). And Japanese men's fetish for schoolgirls' used underwear is such a problem, concluded a civic panel, that shops that cater to them are proliferating, thus enticing more and more girls to become suppliers (Tokyo, October). [Baton Rouge Advocate, 9-30-03] [Columbus Dispatch, 11-21-03] [Mainichi Daily News, 10-4-03]
Compelling Explanations
Timothy Paul Kootenay, 43, jailed in Aspen, Colo., in November on a California warrant for probation violation, said he would fight extradition on the ground that he is a citizen of the notorious "Republic of Texas" and that, actually, Aspen and Vail are located on a sliver of land that is also part of the Texas nation. Kootenay's separatist colleagues (some of whom have taken up arms) believe that Texas was never legally annexed by the United States and is thus a sovereign nation that should respond only to international law. [Aspen Daily News, 11-19-03]
In a deposition earlier this year as part of his divorce proceedings (and released in November), the president's brother, Neil Bush, admitted that he had had sex with several women while on business trips in Asia, but that he did not seek them out, insisting that they simply came to his door. Asked his ex-wife's lawyer, "Mr. Bush, you have to admit it's a pretty remarkable thing for a man just to go to a hotel room door and open it and have a woman standing there and have sex with her." Responded Bush, "It was very unusual." [Reuters, 11-25-03]
In October in Hennepin County, Minn., Rafiq Abdul Mortland, 38, was sentenced to eight to 10 years in prison as the man who habitually asked store clerks whom he robbed to also hand over some Rolaids. When asked by police why he did that, Mortland said it was to relieve the stress he got from committing robberies. [St. Louis Park Sun/Sailor, 10-15-03]
The parents of a teenage girl, who had inhaled nitrous oxide from "whippet" propulsion cartridges just before a car crash that left her with permanent brain damage, filed a lawsuit in Boca Raton, Fla., in December against the store that sold her the canisters. However, a store manager claimed that, even though his is a video store whose whippets are sold from an "adult" room, he believes that his customers are not inhalant-abusers but just people who want to make their own whipped cream. [Palm Beach Post, 12-10-03]
The Latest Human Rights
In September, a government appeals board in Melbourne, Australia, changed its mind and ruled that organizers of a lesbian festival could not, after all, limit attendance to just those lesbians who were born female, because that discriminates against transsexual lesbians. The female-born organizers had said they needed to exclude ex-males in order to affirm their identity and "consolidate our culture." [Agence France-Presse, 9-30-03]
Spain's Catalonian High Court ruled in November that the Barcelona construction company Perez Parellada Promotions had improperly fired a worker who admitted smoking marijuana on the job, finding that he only smoked during meal breaks and did not smoke enough to affect his work. [Australian Broadcasting Corporation News, 11-26-03]
Least Competent Criminals
In November, Michael Patrick Mikitka, 35, was arrested and charged as the man who had held up six banks in one week in the Pittsburgh area, including one in which he had written the holdup note on a check issued to him when he opened his account. In the final robbery, at the PNC Bank in Wilkinsburg, he was on his way out the door when the security guard said that the teller needed to see him again, and as he walked back in, the doors locked, and the guard grabbed him. Pending trial, Mikitka was sent to drug rehabilitation, but he left the facility on Dec. 22 and was re-arrested the same day when he allegedly robbed the same National City bank that he had robbed twice during his November spree. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 12-24-03]
Update
When Dan White killed San Francisco supervisor Harvey Milk and Mayor George Moscone in 1978, but argued successfully that he had diminished capacity because of a depression that was exemplified by eating too much junk food, the "Twinkie Defense" was born. In December 2003, U.S. Rep. Bill Janklow of South Dakota was convicted of manslaughter for causing a traffic fatality, despite a defense that he had diminished capacity due to low blood sugar from his diabetes. Presumably, then (though Janklow did not specifically say so), the accident, the death, and his conviction would never have happened if only he had eaten some Twinkies. [Sioux Falls Argus Leader, 12-1-03]
Alternate Universe
In November, a jury in Montgomery, Ala., ordered Exxon Mobil to pay the state $11.8 billion in punitive damages based on its conclusion that the company, having allegedly inflated its expenses, underpaid the state $63.6 million in natural gas royalties (a penalty of more than 18 times the state's alleged loss). Exxon Mobil said its expenses were legitimate, that it owed the state nothing, and that it would appeal. One juror said afterward that the fact that the Alabama government is in such dire financial straits and needs the money might have influenced his vote (though that was not legally proper). [San Francisco Chronicle-AP, 11-14-03]
Undignified Deaths
A 20-year-old woman died in a one-car collision in Bridgewater, Mass., in November; according to police, she lost control of her car while talking on a cell phone and crashed into the Cingular Wireless store on Route 106. And a 16-year-old student in Indianapolis was killed in November on his morning school bus ride when he stuck his head out of a window to see a dead raccoon in the road and was clipped by a tree. [Boston Globe, 11-2-03] [Indianapolis Star, 11-17-03]
Also, in the Last Month
A woman was summonsed for dangerous driving after she tied the child's seat carrying her 20-month-old infant to a backseat door to keep it from swinging open (Perth, Australia). About 50 inmates at a Portuguese prison refused to eat special Christmas lunches because the bread, usually freshly baked, was not, due to bakeries having closed early the day before (Belas, Portugal). Police said a 29-year-old woman ordered her 11-year-old daughter to help her shoplift clothing, including some items the woman later returned to the girl as Christmas presents (Fort Myers, Fla.). [News Ltd. (Australia), 12-23-03] [Agence France-Presse, 12-26-03] [St. Petersburg Times-AP, 12-25-03]
The man convicted of blowing up the Pan Am flight over Lockerbie, Scotland, in 1988, killing 270 people, lives in relative luxury in a private four-room suite in Glasgow's Barlinnie prison, according to a November report in Britain's News of the World. Abdelbaset al Megrahi, serving a minimum 27-year sentence, has a color TV, VCR, stereo, personal computer, kitchen, floral curtains, framed art and unlimited telephone access. A prison official said the man must be isolated because of the nature of his crime, but that Barlinnie had a limited choice of such facilities. [News of the World, 11-16-03]
Things You Didn't Know Were Problems
Britain's Industrial Christian Fellowship of religious scholars complained in September that people's prayers go disproportionately for teachers and nurses and said it would distribute a set of prayers for the underblessed financial sector under the heading "When did you last pray for your stockbroker?" And in November, the Saudi government set new restrictions on the export of sand, fearing that increased needs of its neighbors (in the reconstruction of Iraq and in Bahrain's reclamation projects into the Persian Gulf) will create a shortage. [Reuters, 9-26-03] [BBC News, 11-5-03]
Crybabies
Joseph Tomaino of Neptune, N.J., won $3 million from a jury because a side effect of penile surgery was an erection that lasted for three days, which an appeals court later found did not interfere with most of his daily activities. (The trial judge, who wanted to give Tomaino even more money, had the case taken away from him by the appeals court in November.) And passenger Ivette Jones, who said she was traumatized in the October Staten Island ferry collision and couldn't sleep because she was so distraught, filed a $200 million lawsuit against New York City, $80 million more than claimed by a woman who lost both legs in the accident. [Associated Press, 11-21-03] [New York Post, 10-27-03]
Can't Possibly Be True
The Oakland (Calif.) Tribune reported in November that a City of Oakland building inspector's employee, fired in February 2002, took a government car (with logo) with her when she left and that no one noticed it was missing for 18 months, until the ex-employee had accumulated $1,500 in traffic tickets. At that point, the owner of the car was called to get the car out of the impound lot. [Oakland Tribune, 11-9-03]
Angela Bridges filed a lawsuit in June against the Washington County (Ga.) Regional Medical Center and a doctor for failing to clean her wound properly. She fell into some shrubbery in her yard in 2002, cut her leg, and reported to the emergency room for cleaning and suturing. Nine months later, another physician found that a small boxwood twig, with five thriving green leaves, had broken through the sutured skin. [Sandersville Progress, 7-23-03]
Inexplicable
In October, the Minneapolis Star Tribune reported on the heated clash in the Twin Cities suburb of Eden Prairie over how much money to spend on a new historic preservation program, which the Star Tribune noted was ironic because the town was nothing more than farms until the 1950s. Said a city council member, "I think an argument can be made that the word 'historic' is being loosely used." And an August Boston Globe story deglamourized Plymouth Rock, supposedly where the first pilgrims stepped in 1620 as they disembarked near what is now Plymouth, Mass. It's just a large rock, kept in an open pen (and was named by TV's Learning Channel as one of America's 10 lamest landmarks). [Star Tribune, 10-20-03] [Boston Globe, 8-5-03]
In October, North Korea's official news agency reported that Japan had broken a promise to return five people to North Korea. The five are Japanese citizens who were kidnapped by North Korea in 1978 but released to see their families in October 2002. North Korea's position is that they were released only temporarily and must be returned to North Korea. [Japan Today-Kyodo News, 10-19-03]
In November, the town of Bolinas, Calif., voted 314-152 to adopt the following ballot measure (the official wording): "Vote for Bolinas to be a socially acknowledged nature-loving town because to like to drink the water out of the lakes to like to eat the blueberries to like the bears is not hatred to hotels and motor boats. Dakar. Temporary and way to save life, skunks and foxes (airplanes to go over the ocean) and to make it beautiful." A San Francisco Chronicle reporter attributed the town's support for it to the fact that its sponsor, artist Jane "Dakar" Blethen, is a beloved, though eccentric, local character. [San Francisco Chronicle, 10-30-03, 11-5-03]
Police in Sandwich, Mass., are so far stumped why Daniel L. Kelleher, 48, was found covered head-to-toe with roofing tar, lying in a water-filled bathtub in a room at the Sandwich Motor Lodge on Nov. 11. Kelleher, a carpenter, apparently purchased the tar and caulking guns, and he had rented the same room a week earlier and left tar in the bathroom, but he has refused to answer detectives' questions. [Mashpee (Mass.) Enterprise, 11-14-03]
Least Competent Criminals
Jason Cody Jones, 27, was arrested in Florence, Colo., in November and charged with suspicion of theft in connection with $110,000 missing this year from J.P. McGill's casino, where Jones was a security guard. Jones called attention to himself by purchasing a motorcycle with 300 $20 bills and a pickup truck with a similar array of small bills, and for spending $35,000 during a six-month period this year while having earned only $6,400. [TheDenverChannel.com-AP, 11-10-03]
In October, about $450,000 worth of marijuana plants were discovered in a downtown Chicago apartment after police noted an overpowering scent that wafted the length of the building's hallway. They arrested a Navy Pier worker and five students, one of whom voluntarily answered the police knock to inadvertently reveal marijuana plants covering almost every surface in the front room (as well as one room air freshener, which an occupant had optimistically placed near the door). [Chicago Sun-Times, 10-7-03]
Update
In 2000, News of the Weird reported that a major plank in the platform of a Montana man running for the U.S. Senate was to encourage the space program to build and use an "elevator" to lift satellites into orbit, rather than the far more expensive rocket ships. An October 2003 Associated Press report disclosed that a dozen or more scientists at Los Alamos National Laboratory so deeply believe in the elevator that they work on their own time on studying and promoting its feasibility. The elevator would be a cable shaft about 50,000 miles long, lowered to Earth from a conventional spacecraft and docked to a land station. The shaft would be made of "carbon nanotubes" (many times stronger yet lighter than steel), but the main problem is that, so far, science only knows how to make nanotubes a few feet long. [Associated Press, 10-14-03]
Readers' Choice
Waiting for a rush-hour bus in East St. Louis, Ill., Emanual Fleming tried to use a pay phone but received a busy signal, then stuck his right middle finger into the coin-return slot but couldn't get it out. With his free hand, he called 911, and ambulance personnel had to take both Fleming and the telephone to the hospital, where, three hours after he got stuck, doctors numbed the finger and worked it out of the slot. [Belleville News-Democrat, 11-18-03]
Also, in the Last Month
A sophisticated fake-report-card scheme was busted when several students insisted on boosting their D's all the way up to A's, provoking their parents to call the principal to see why their kids weren't on the honor roll (Salem, N.H.). A 43-year-old man said he'd plead guilty in December to his fourth shoplifting conviction in two years, each one involving grocery store pork products (East St. Louis, Ill.). A bank robber who had forgotten to cut eye holes in his mask (and who kept lifting it to peek out) nonetheless escaped with his loot but not before banging into a steel door frame on his way out (Modesto, Calif.). [TheBostonChannel.com, 11-14-03] [Belleville News-Democrat, 11-16-03] [Modesto Bee, 11-19-03]
For 23 years, Dennis Hope, 55, of Gardnerville, Nev., has operated a business selling people "official" title to land on the moon, Mars and Venus for about $20 an acre. Although others are in the same business, Hope told the Las Vegas Review-Journal in September that he has earned $6.5 million during that period (an average of $270,000 a year). He says his idea was based on something he actually learned in school: that the international Outer Space Treaty of 1967 prohibited nations from owning celestial bodies but was silent about individual ownership. Hope says he wrote to the United Nations, explained his plan, and asked if they had a problem with it (and no one wrote back). [Las Vegas Review-Journal, 9-29-03]
Alternate Universe
While recent drastic budget cuts (and the governor's failure to get a tax increase from the legislature) have limited Alabama's Department of Public Safety to placing only five or six troopers on nighttime highway patrol for the entire state, as many as 17 troopers spend all day each Saturday during football season providing security for the state's 10 college teams. The schools agreed in principle to reimburse the troopers' expenses, according to an October Associated Press report, but their policies vary, and the Department has been lax in collecting. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution-AP, 10-23-03]
Weird Science
Carl Hanson of St. Paul, Minn., actually obtained a U.S. patent (No. 6,457,474) in 2002 for what he described as a new method for treating heart-related chest pain (as reported in August 2003 by Scientific American). Hanson's unique invention: He drinks limeade from concentrate. His patent application said that it worked for him, and he wrote out the required details about the structure of the invention, specifically, to purchase cans of concentrate, add water, stir and introduce the juice into the body through the mouth (although Hanson wrote that his patent would also cover intravenous administration). [Patent #6,457,474, uspto.com, via Scientific American, August 2003]
Researchers at Panasonic's Nanotechnology Research Laboratory near Kyoto, Japan, said in August that they have begun to generate electricity from blood, which they say may eventually yield enough power to produce a human "battery" to run various implanted devices, such as pacemakers. Power is produced by stripping blood glucose of its electrons. [Sydney Morning Herald, 8-4-03]
The Entrepreneurial Spirit
In September, the Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, daily newspaper Al-Watan reported that the father of a prospective bride (whose future husband had not yet met her) had established a new dowry-collection strategy by demanding that the prospective husband pay the equivalent of US$300 just to take a pre-wedding glance at the bride (fully clothed, of course). [Reuters, 10-1-03]
Among the themed funeral settings available for families recently at U.S. mortuaries (at $1,000 to $3,000) (according to a September Associated Press report): bales of hay, wagon wheels, cacti, a cowboy boot and a plastic horse (for the loved one who was rodeo-oriented, at the Palm Mortuary in Las Vegas), and "Big Mama's Kitchen," with Crisco, Wonder Bread and fried chicken (for the loved one who was a fan of lavish feasts). [Associated Press, 9-25-03]
Crises in the Workplace
In August, computer technician Goran Andervass received the equivalent of US$100,000 as settlement of his wrongful-firing lawsuit against Riksbanken, the Swedish national bank, over a 2001 incident that began when a colleague, meeting with him in his Stockholm office, ostentatiously passed gas. Andervass became very upset and started shouting at the man. Supervisors cautioned Andervass, who began a downward emotional spiral and began to take abundant sick leave, leading to further sanctions and eventually to his dismissal. [Aftonbladet (Stockholm)-The Guardian (London), 9-2-03]
Among the 15 "worst" actual jobs in science (from the October issue of Popular Science): (15) counting fish (one by one, for hours) that swim by dams in the Pacific Northwest; (11) the only two government bureaucrats whose job is to convince Americans of the merits of the metric system; (7) researchers who reach into a cow's rumen to pull out and analyze the stomach contents; (4) mosquito catchers who endure up to 15 bites a minute on three-hour shifts and hope not to get malaria; (3) researchers who extract sperm from animals for study or artificial insemination (and extracting from a pig is much preferable to extracting from a bull); and (1) "flatus odor judges" working for gastroenterologist Michael Levitt, who feeds subjects pinto beans, then gathers gases in plastic collection tubes direct from the source, and then has judges sniff as many as 100 samples, rating them for strength. [Popular Science, October 2003]
Least Competent Criminals
Cyril Kendall was easily convicted in August in New York City for swindling the American Red Cross and another organization out of $160,000 for family grief counseling over a "son" who "died" in the World Trade Center attack. There are no official records that the son ever existed, although Kendall presented some documents that government experts termed poor forgeries. The grief counseling ($425 an hour) was spent entirely at a "company" that did not exist but of which Kendall admitted that he was the sole employee (thus paying himself to counsel himself and his family). [New York Post, 8-6-03]
In the End, Clear on the Concept
In September, a committee of Milwaukee's city council approved the application of a strip joint (Club Paradise Gentlemen's Club) to also become a "center for visual and performing arts" (the same designation as the Milwaukee Art Museum) by the simple act of placing several pieces of upscale artwork on its walls. Such a classification would allow liberalization of the club's alcohol permit. (However, by the time the matter came to the full council, the public had heard about it, and the club withdrew the application.) [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 10-13-03, 10-21-03]
Recurring Themes
Daniel Smith, 45, written up for traffic violations after a minor accident in Independence, Mo., in November, became the latest person to take seriously the idea that he could assert a "copyright" over his name and expect the police (i.e., the taxpayers) to pay him $500,000 per use for writing his name on the traffic tickets (plus $1 million as a late fee if the government didn't pay in 10 days). Smith refused to take his license back from the officer until he was issued a "receipt," which he pointed out earned him another $500,000. [Independence Examiner, 11-4-03]
The Perpetual Campaign to Make Everyone Perfect
The Moscow State Circus, touring Britain in July, told reporters its insurance companies had instructed trapeze artists to wear hard hats during their performances, to comply with European Union safety rules. And Beaufort County, S.C., adopted a policy in August that, for two-semester high school courses, a student who fails the first semester would automatically receive an encouraging "62," no matter how low his actual score. [Daily Telegraph (London), 7-23-03] [Post and Courier (Charleston), 8-18-03]
Compelling Explanations
The unsuccessful explanation Michael Schoop, 53, gave the judge for having child pornography on his computer was that he inadvertently downloaded the images while searching the Internet for asparagus recipes (Oakland, Calif., October). And the explanation of the mother of a Brainerd (Minn.) High School cheerleader (who was suspended for allegedly offering $50 to have another cheerleader beaten up): "They don't like each other. (The other girl) is a snot, and my daughter can be a snot, too" (October). [San Francisco Chronicle, 10-28-03] [Brainerd Dispatch, 10-30-03]
Also, in the Last Month
Lawyer Christian Gauthier was referred for disciplinary investigation because, while defending a client accused of killing a police officer, he was overheard singing the Bob Marley song "I Shot the Sheriff" during a courtroom break (Montreal, Quebec). A 15-year-old burglary suspect in lockup was also charged with theft for ordering $42 worth of adult movies on the jail's cable television hookup (Woodstock, Ill.). The eventual winner of the race for president of the Marietta, Ohio, City Council was arrested on the morning of the election on a misdemeanor delinquent-taxes warrant. [Canadian Broadcasting Corporation News, 11-4-03] [Northwest Herald (Crystal Lake, Ill.), 11-6-03] [Columbus Dispatch-AP, 11-7-03]
Trivia
The average person falls asleep in 12 to 14 minutes.
The heaviest dog breed is the St. Bernard.
A recent survey revealed that wine drinkers are more successful than those who don't drink.
In ancient Greece, if a woman watched even a single Olympic event, she was put to death.
Fifty percent of all marshmallows consumed in the U.S. have been toasted.
Studies indicate that weightlifters working out in blue gyms can handle heavier weights.
Casanova boasted that he made love to the same woman twelve times in one day.
According to experts, there was no punctuation until the 15th century.
There are more nuns over the age of 90 than there are under the age of 40.
Ralph Macchio played a troubled 14-year-old boy in Karate Kid. He was 22 at the time.
A restaurant in China, the Beijing Duck, can seat 9,000 people at one time.
Fifty-four percent of Americans claim to have had sex via phone, e-mail or text message.
Most heart attacks happen between 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m.
Almost all monkeys are near-sighted.
McDonald's uses 2,500 tons of sesame seeds a year.
Newspapers
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crosswords.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave LA to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country... or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are Democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
Stiff discipline for boys' Viagra prank Thu Oct 23, 4:45 PM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - Six schoolboys were rushed to hospital after taking the erection-enhancing drug Viagra at lunchtime for a dare.
Forest School in Winnersh said paramedics were called after a fellow student told teachers about the 13-year-olds' prank.
"It is believed that a pupil brought the tablets in from home into the all-boys school and shared them with five friends," the local education authority said in a statement on Thursday.
The Sun newspaper quoted a source at the school as saying: "By the time the afternoon lessons began, there was no hiding what they had done."
Paramedics took the six squirming boys to the nearby Royal Berkshire Hospital, where they were monitored until the effects wore off.
"The school has a strict no drugs policy and a pupil will be temporarily excluded for actions which placed other pupils at risk," the education authority added.
Homeless gnomes gather dust in France
Tuesday, October 28, 2003 Posted: 10:40 AM EST (1540 GMT)
PARIS, France (Reuters) -- A French police station has been stuck with a room of homeless garden gnomes, victims of a wave of gnome abductions, after a new bid to trace their owners failed.
Only a trickle of people showed up for Monday's "gnome return day" at the police station in Saint-Die-des-Vosges, near the eastern city of Strasbourg, and only one person was reunited with a stolen gnome, police said.
About 75 kidnapped gnomes were recovered in 2001 after a group called the Garden Gnome Liberation Front released them, leaving them on the steps of the Saint-Die-des-Vosges cathedral.
Police have yet to reunite 43 of the gnomes with their owners.
"In wanting to set them free, the Liberation Front has virtually imprisoned them," policeman Sylvain Brucker told Reuters, adding the local prosecutor could decide to sell the kitsch garden ornaments in a police auction.
"Perhaps there are people with gardens who would like to adopt them," he said.
Icelandic "Iceman" grabs shark to save men Thu Oct 23,11:40 AM ET
STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - An Icelandic fishing captain, known as "the Iceman" for his tough character, grabbed a 300 kg (660 lb) shark with his bare hands as it swam in shallow water towards his crew, according to a witness.
The skipper of the trawler "Erik the Red" was on a beach in Kuummiit, east Greenland, watching his crew processing a catch when he saw the shark swimming towards the fish blood and guts -- and his men.
Captain Sigurdur Petursson, known to locals as "the Iceman", ran into the shallow water and grabbed the shark by its tail. He dragged it off to dry land and killed it with his knife.
"He caught it just with his hands. There was a lot of blood in the sea and the shark came in and he thought it was dangerous," Frede Kilime, a hunter and fisherman who watched from the beach, told Reuters by phone from Greenland on Thursday.
Icelandic author and journalist Reynir Traustason, who knows the trawler captain, said the act was typical of the man.
"He's called 'the Iceman' because he isn't scared of anything," he said. "I know the people in that part of the world. They are really tough."
Tricycle-riding gunman tries to hijack car, police say
Thursday, October 23, 2003 Posted: 4:36 PM EDT (2036 GMT)
SALEM, Oregon (AP) -- A gunman who allegedly tried to hijack a car was apparently no better at driving it than he was at maneuvering his original vehicle: a tricycle.
He also wasn't very handy with the gun.
Oswaldo Valenciano, 24, was arrested Tuesday and will be booked at the Marion County Jail on felony charges, Lt. Dan Cary said.
Police were called after receiving reports that a man on a tricycle had been firing gunshots and had slammed into a car, Cary said.
"The tricycle pilot picked himself up and demanded to be taken to the hospital," Cary said. But the driver of the car, Marion Rodriguez, tried to persuade Valenciano to call 911, Cary said.
"At this point, Valenciano opens the rear car door and hops into the back seat of Mr. Rodriguez's car, demanding to be taken to the hospital," Cary said.
"Mr. Rodriguez gets out of his car and starts asking people to call 911. Valenciano then gets out, mounts his trike -- and promptly falls over."
At that point, a police car arrived, prompting Valenciano to abandon his tricycle and get into the front seat of Rodriguez's car, still armed with his handgun, according to police reports.
"Officers saw the weapon and ordered Valenciano out of the car," Cary said. "Instead he puts the car in gear and tosses a handgun out. He fails to notice that the emergency brake is still set."
Valenciano eventually hit a street sign, lost control of the car and tried to hide in a nearby sports utility vehicle, police said
Valenciano was treated at Salem Hospital for a leg injury and a gunshot wound to his left foot.
After 15 months in a plush bungalow, the Allotts have moved out. Why? They lived on:
BUTT HOLE ROAD
By MARTYN SHARPE
FED-UP Paul Allott has moved home - because living in Butt Hole Road is a pain in the backside.
Pranksters posed for snaps with botties bared in front of his ?150,000 bungalow.
Pizza deliverymen and taxis snubbed callouts - thinking the address was a leg-pull.
And dad-of-two Paul and wife Lisa, 29, grew tired of people repeating their address and asking: "Is that near the ring road - or the bottom of the street!"
Now, after 15 months of grief, the couple have sold up in Conisbrough, South Yorks, and moved half a mile away.
Paul, 30 - a lighting installer - said: "I like a laugh but it was beyond a joke. We've had people steal the street sign and it got to the point where I dreaded reciting our address.
"I thought it would be nice to rename it Button Hole Road. But it's easier to move than go through all the hassle of a new name with the local council."
New owner Peter Sutton IS happy with Butt Hole Road.
The taxi driver said: "I think it'll be fun - and I know what to expect."
Move Over Beauty Queens, Italy Seeks Miss Digital Thu Nov 6, 8:03 AM ET
By Giada Zampano
MILAN (Reuters) - The movie star Sophia Loren (news) may have been the icon of 20th-century Italian beauty but times have changed and now she's being challenged for her crown by virtual divas in the first "Miss Digital World" competition.
A new beauty contest kicking off in Italy next week will give pixel-perfect pin-ups the chance to steal sultry Sophia's sex-symbol status.
"Miss Digital World" is the first beauty contest reserved for the likes of videogame heroine Lara Croft, computer-cloned actresses from the "Matrix" films and new beauties tweaked to perfection with 3D graphics.
Digital artists, advertising agencies and videogame programmers from around the world have been asked to send a computer design of their perfect woman to www.missdigitalworld.com, complete with date of birth and body measurements.
"Every age has its ideal of beauty, and every age produces its visual incarnation of that ideal from the Venus de Milo in ancient Greece to Marilyn Monroe (news) in the 1960s," Franz Cerami, the creator of the competition, said.
"Miss Digital World is the search for a contemporary ideal of beauty, seen through virtual reality," he told Reuters.
Designers will program their contestants to parade along a virtual catwalk, and there'll be a virtual presenter and virtual guests who will help create the atmosphere of a beauty contest.
The winner will be crowned at a flesh-and-blood conference in November 2004 and Cerami hopes the digital queen will go on to greater things with roles in videogames, virtual reality films and adverts.
But beware those who think beauty need only be screen-deep. The virtual world has its ethical rules too.
"They should not have taken part -- not even as extras or cameos -- in pornographic films, shows or plays nor have made statements...in any way out of tune with the moral spirit of the competition," organizers said.
Carnegie Mellon Inducts Four Robots into Newly Established Robot Hall of Fame
Two robots from science fiction and two from the real world of exploration on Tuesday were the first to be inducted by Carnegie Mellon University into its newly established Robot Hall of Fame in Pittsburgh.
Honored were Sojourner, which explored the Martian surface after hitching a ride with NASA's Mars Pathfinder; Unimate, the first industrial robot; R2-D2 from the Star Wars movies; and the HAL-9000 computer from the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey.
"Our goal is to create a permanent, interactive exhibition involving robots that will educate and entertain a wide variety of audiences," said James H. Morris, dean of Carnegie Mellon's School of Computer Science who conceived the Hall of Fame concept.
The criteria for selecting robot honorees depends on their nature. Scientific robots must have served an actual or potentially useful function and demonstrated real skills in accomplishing the purpose for which they were created. Robots created to entertain must be functioning autonomous devices and have achieved a significant audience. Fictional robots should have achieved worldwide fame as fictional characters that helped form opinions about the function and value of all robots.
"It's fitting that the Robot Hall of Fame is located here in Pittsburgh at the home of Carnegie Mellon's Robotics Institute," said Chuck Thorpe, the institute's director. "We have been doing research in many areas of robotics for nearly 25 years and have helped to focus attention on this field that has so much potential to help people."
A Robot Hall of Fame Web site -- www.robothalloffame.org -- developed by Wall-to-Wall Studios of Pittsburgh, was unveiled at the ceremony."
From Cartoon to Reality Rob Baur of Lake Oswego, Oregon, dreamed of bringing to life his favorite The Simpsons episode, one from 1999 in which Homer grows "tomacco," a combination tomato-tobacco plant. Even though it tastes foul and has a brown, gooey center, the entire town becomes addicted to the fruit after one bite, and Homer gets rich. Baur grafted a tomato plant onto tobacco roots, and voil?he had a real, live tomacco plant. The two plants can successfully become one because they come from the same plant family, which also includes eggplant and the deadly nightshade. The tomacco even bore fruit, although Baur said he believes it's poisonous because it likely contains a lethal amount of nicotine. -Kristen Philipkoski, "Simpsons Plant Seeds of Invention," Wired News, November 7, 2003
Archaeologists unearth ancient toothbrush
The Associated Press 11/18/2003, 9:38 a.m. ET
BERLIN (AP) - German archaeologists have unearthed what could be Europe's oldest toothbrush, officials said Tuesday.
The brush, dug up at the site of a former hospital in the western city of Minden, is at least 250 years old, said the Landscape Association of Westfalen-Lippe, which oversees the excavation.
While the bristles have rotted away, the brush's 4-inch handle of animal bone is carved at the other end into a tiny spoon believed to be used for cleaning out the owner's ears.
The toothbrush is almost identical to one found earlier this year near Quedlinburg, about 100 miles farther east. Experts dated that brush at around 1750, making it the oldest found in Europe at the time, and suggest the latest find may have been come from the same workshop.
Toothbrushes first became widely used in the 18th century, as tooth-rooting sugar became a fixture in the diet of wealthier Europeans.
Cops Search Michael Jackson's Ranch
Tuesday, November 18, 2003 LOS OLIVOS, Calif. - Investigators armed with a search warrant are swarming Michael Jackson's (search) Neverland Ranch.
Court TV (search) and "Extra" (search) both reported that a 12-year-old boy has brought allegations against the pop star. At least one ambulance was present Tuesday on the Neverland (search) grounds.
A source told "Extra" correspondent Michael Bryant the boy recently approached a Los Angeles law firm and claimed inappropriate conduct by the superstar. It was unclear if those allegations were the cause for the raid, but no immediate arrests were made.
Jackson and his three young children are not currently at Neverland, but Jackson is in the country, Jackson's publicist Stuart Backerman said.
A source told Fox News that reports of Backerman heading to the ranch to make a statement Tuesday were untrue. But reporters were awaiting a press conference in Las Vegas with updates on the situation.
Jackson had been in Las Vegas for three weeks shooting a video, and news of the raid came as a "complete surprise," a source close to the pop star told Foxnews.com's Roger Friedman.
Authorities carried out the search warrant at the 45-year-old singer's sprawling home in the Santa Ynez Valley outside of Santa Barbara, Calif. said a sheriff's spokesman. The Santa Barbara County district attorney's office was also involved in the action, he added.
More than 20 investigators from the Santa Barbara County sheriff's and district attorney's offic es served a warrant as part of an "ongoing criminal investigation," Sgt. Chris Pappas said in a statement.
The district attorney's office had no comment.
"The district attorney's office got a search warrant, which means a judge found probable cause that a crime has been committed," "Celebrity Justice" executive producer Harvey Levin told Fox News. Levin said an arrest warrant for Jackson hadn't been issued.
The singer who had international hits with the albums "Thriller" (1982), "Bad" (1987) and "Dangerous" (1991), saw his career begin to collapse in 1993 amid allegations he molested a boy. Jackson has maintained his innocence, and charges were never filed. He reportedly paid an approximately $20 million settlement.
Jackson's spiritual advisor, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, told Fox News he had tried to counsel the singer about being more responsible.
"I have sent him many messages," the rabbi said on Fox. "We're not just talking about the fall of a business. We're talking about the fall of a human being."
Added Boteach: "He's not a child, he's an adult, and he has to accept" the consequences of his actions.
Uri Geller, a psychic and paranormalist who is a long-time friend of Jackson's, told Fox News that if the allegations are of a sexual nature, he could not believe they were true.
"I'm a father myself and I would never associate myself with anyone who would do anything with a child," Geller said. Geller described Jackson as "gullible, innocent, maybe a little confused ... but I would never believe he would sexually abuse a child."
Last year there was a public outcry after Jackson, a former child-star, stunned fans by dangling his baby, whom he reportedly calls "Blanket," from a hotel window in Germany. The child's face was covered was a towel. In public, Jackson usually has each of his three children covered in masks or veils.
Earlier this year, Jackson revealed in a British TV documentary that he shared his bedroom at Neverland with young boys as part of sleepovers, but said nothing sexual had occurred.
Jackson is also connected to Hollywood private eye Anthony Pellicano, who began serving federal prison time Monday for possessing illegal explosives. Pellicano is being investigated about whether he secretly taped conversations of celebrities and their lawyers.
Pellicano, 59, worked for Jackson as a spokesman and security consultant during the abuse investigation.
The search came on the same day Epic Records released "Number Ones," a greatest hits collection featuring Jackson's new single, "One More Chance." On Nov. 26, CBS is scheduled to air a Jackson special consisting mainly of old concert footage.
"Our Place in the Cosmos: Big History and the Stories of Science By Douglas Vakoch Special to SPACE.com posted: 06:00 am ET 13 November 2003
As if college students didn't already have a hard enough time studying for their final exams, Professor David Christian has made it even harder. Most instructors of History 100 would find it ambitious enough to survey all of recorded history in a single semester. But not Christian. In his survey course at San Diego State University, history begins much earlier. By his reckoning, about 13.7 billion years earlier, going back to the Big Bang.
"Normally," Christian explains, "historians look at the past on the scale of two or three centuries." With his traditional training in Russian history, this was how he began his own career as well. But ultimately, the standard approach to the past wasn't enough for him. "I got fascinated by the question, 'When is the beginning of history?'," Christian says, "and once you start asking that question, you go back and back and back. And eventually I found myself going back to the origins of the universe, because that seemed the only logical point to stop." And so, for the past fifteen years, he has taught a course on Big History, which he describes as "an attempt to look at the past on all possible time scales."
More than an interesting intellectual exercise, Christian contends that Big History helps us find meaning in our lives: "Understanding how you fit into the universe is incredibly important psychologically because it gives you a sense of who you are, of where you are, of what your place is in the scheme of things." In his forthcoming book Maps of Time: An Introduction to Big History, Christian's emphasis is on putting ourselves in context. In fact, in multiple contexts. As he notes, Big History "enables you to see human history in the context of the history of life on Earth, of the planet, of the solar system, and of the universe."
Stories of Science
"The more I look at the past on these huge scales," Christian says, "the more I am convinced that the differences between science and earlier attempts to look at a complete picture of the universe are not often as great as we think." Consider, for example, Australian aboriginal myths. Embedded in those stories, Christian claims, is information critical to survival, providing a rudimentary form of science: "Stories about kangaroos, or stories about mammoths ... contained a lot of good, hard information that you needed if you were a hunter. So in a sense, those stories were science."
But not all science is equally good. "The huge difference between [the stories of] modern society is that these are stories that get tested globally, whereas in the past, your stories got tested only amongst a small community of people. So, the modern stories have to survive much tougher tests." Compared to earlier stories, Christian maintains that we can accomplish more with the stories of modern science: "I think they're better stories, and we can do more things with the modern stories. We can make computers, we can make planes."
But the transition from pre-modern to modern science does not come easily. "If you have a story that's been passed down in your tribe for hundreds of years," Christian explains, "suddenly you become aware that there are other people with very different stories. That's a real shock to the system, and that's happened many times in the last few centuries."
Smaller World, Bigger Science
The robustness of modern science comes from its ability to integrate the best of other accounts. "In a sense," says Christian, "of all these competing stories, the scientific one is the one that's been created to try and blend the best in all of them, and to find something that fits all the knowledge of all different societies. And it turns out, of course, that a story that works in Japan as well as in Australia as well as in North America, in some practical ways has to be a better story."
By Christian's account, there was nothing random about when and where modern science took hold: "The world itself was, in the past, broken up into smaller units. Information wasn't exchanged over such large areas. It's no accident that the Scientific Revolution happened in Europe, and it happened just after the point when the whole world was unified for the first time. Because suddenly, you had a huge flood of information coming into Europe, and for European scientists, the problem was to reconcile all these different bodies of information. And I think that's what modern science comes out of. It's an attempt to see what is held in common in all these stories, and to construct a story that unifies all the information from different parts of the world."
And so, modern science marches on, providing an increasingly more comprehensive understanding of the universe and our place in it. In Christian's view, "Any scientist, I think, will agree that in a hundred years time, many of the details of the story we tell now may look kind of cute and naive, because we'll have moved on beyond them. But if you happen to live now," he concludes, "this is the best story going.""
McDonald's not lovin' 'McJob' dictionary definition
Monday, November 10, 2003 Posted: 1:15 PM EST (1815 GMT)
CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- McDonald's says it deserves a break from the unflattering way the latest Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary depicts its job opportunities.
Among some 10,000 new additions to an updated version released in June was the term "McJob," defined as "low paying and dead-end work."
In an open letter to Merriam-Webster, McDonald's CEO Jim Cantalupo said the term is "an inaccurate description of restaurant employment" and "a slap in the face to the 12 million men and women" who work in the restaurant industry.
The company e-mailed the letter to media organizations Friday, and it also was published in the Nov. 3 edition of an industry trade publication.
Cantalupo also wrote that "more than 1,000 of the men and women who own and operate McDonald's restaurants today got their start by serving customers behind the counter."
McDonald's, the world's largest restaurant chain, has more than 30,000 restaurants and more than 400,000 employees.
Walt Riker, a spokesman for McDonald's, said the Oak Brook, Illinois-based fast-food giant also is concerned that "McJob" closely resembles McJOBS, the company's training program for mentally and physically challenged people.
"McJOBS is trademarked and we've notified them that legally that's an issue for us as well," Riker said.
A message left at Merriam-Webster's headquarters in Springfield, Massachussetts, was not immediately returned Friday evening.
In November, just three days after a published report that lawyers were about to collect $350 million on the settlement for the 1988 Pan Am flight 103 explosion (with another $480 million to come, under certain conditions), two Massachusetts law firms sued the state over the 1998 tobacco settlement, claiming that the $775 million in fees they were awarded by an arbitration panel was not enough. The firms say they are due $1.3 billion more under their original contract, although other law firms in the 46-state settlement so far have accepted the arbitrators' awards. A Massachusetts official said a $775 million fee works out to about $6,300 per lawyer-hour and a $2.075 billion fee to about $17,000 per lawyer-hour. [The Scotsman, 11-1-03] [New York Times, 11-5-03]
High-IQ Mishaps
According to a September safety hearing, British brain surgeon Donald Campbell, 54, crashed his twin-engine plane into a house (he survived, with head injuries) when he ran out of fuel because he miscalculated when converting "gallons" to "liters" (Shoreham, England). And internationally renowned neuroscientist Patricia Goldman-Rakic, 66, was fatally run over in August while jaywalking (and police said the driver was not at fault) (Hamden, Conn.). [Daily Telegraph (London), 9-2-03] [Hartford Courant, 8- 3-03]
Long Shot
In July, a judge relented and allowed Richard Quinton Gunn to act as his own attorney in his aggravated-murder appeal, following his conviction earlier in the year in Ogden, Utah, by a jury that deliberated just two hours. Gunn had confessed, saying he killed his tenant using a crowbar, a butcher knife, a handsaw, a fireplace poker, a 12-inch bolt, a straight-edge razor, an ax, walking canes, a pool cue and a large salad fork. [Salt Lake Tribune, 7-16-03]
Compelling Explanations
In October, U.S. Rep. Cass Ballenger, 76, R-N.C., told the Charlotte Observer that a large part of the stress that ended his 50-year marriage was the entry into the couple's Washington, D.C., neighborhood of the Council on American-Islamic Relations, to a building just across the street from the couple's townhouse, which is three blocks from the U.S. Capitol. Ballenger called CAIR a fund-raising arm of the terrorist group Hezbollah and said he and his wife were terrified at seeing women "wearing hoods" (perhaps meaning headscarves), moving boxes into the building: "(T)hey could blow (the Capitol) up." [Agence France-Presse, 10-4-03]
Ten days after Jonathon Russell killed three people and himself in a highly publicized workplace-rage incident in Jefferson City, Mo., in July, his mother, Nina Tichelkamp-Russell, filed a worker compensation claim on his behalf, seeking death benefits. Her version of the cause of death, according to what she wrote on the claim, was "by gunfire while on the company clock." (The employer and its insurance company rejected the claim.) [Columbia Daily Tribune, 10-5-03]
Denver Garrett, charged with cocaine possession in Monterey, Tenn., in October, told police he bought it only to keep it off the streets and away from children. And James Howle, 61, and Kevin Williams, 41, stabbed each other in Pomona, Calif., in October in an argument over which of their two unidentified alcoholic beverages tastes better. [WSMV-TV (Nashville, Tenn.), 10-26-03] [KNBC- TV (Los Angeles), 10-21-03]
Alternate Reality
Medicare, facing a precarious financial future, decided for the first time this year that seniors who need motorized wheelchairs (typical price, $5,500) will have to get an in-person doctor's prescription. Medicare paid $289 million for motorized wheelchairs in 1999, but this year, before the rule change, the estimated expense was $1.2 billion. Medicare also revealed that it is spending $600,000 this year to put its 800-telephone number on a blimp that flies over sporting events. [American Medical News, 10-6-03] [sfgate.com- AP, 10-22-03]
The New York Times reported in October that Nabors Industries (operator of oil-well drilling rigs), which in 2001 moved its legal headquarters from the U.S. to Barbados (corporate income tax: 1 percent) and its tax headquarters to a mail drop in Bermuda (no corporate income tax), is now insisting that it receive favored U.S. legal status. Nabors wants to be treated as an American-owned company to get a competitive advantage under the 80-year-old Jones Act that bars non-U.S. companies from working on ships involved in domestic trade. [New York Times, 10-18-03]
Undignified Deaths
A 29-year-old, 300-pound man was discovered dead (asphyxiation), stuck in a small bathroom window of his home after apparently trying to climb in late at night when he realized he had forgotten his house key (Paterson, N.J., September). And a 36-year-old, 250-pound man (suspected of being a burglar) was discovered dead (asphyxiation), stuck in a small kitchen window, discovered by a woman who had just gotten up to fix breakfast (Elgin, Ill., October). [Herald News (Paterson), 9-17-03] [Chicago Sun-Times, 10-29-03]
No Longer Weird
Adding to the list of stories that were formerly weird but which now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation: (67) The usually elderly, momentarily confused driver who intends to stop but mistakenly slams on the gas pedal, often resulting in major destruction, such as the 82-year-old Rochester, N.Y., woman who plowed into nine new cars at a Hyundai dealership in September. (68) And the marijuana entrepreneur, with plants and grow equipment throughout his house, who nonetheless calls police in to report a relatively minor crime against him, such as the Victoria, British Columbia, man who in August insisted police come see the video he made of a break-in of his car but was oblivious of his home's powerful marijuana smell. [Rochester Democrat and Chronicle, 9-27-03] [Victoria Times Colonist, 8-29-03]
Readers' Choice
On Oct. 29, thousands of rush-hour riders had to be rerouted on New York City commuter trains as firefighters tried to free Edwin Gallart, 41, whose arm got stuck in one train's toilet when he reached in to retrieve his fallen cell phone. (Ultimately, the toilet had to be ripped out.) And the next day in South Philadelphia, a 25-year-old man who had apparently been indecently exposing himself to girls and women in the neighborhood for several weeks, tried it one time too many and was chased by "20 to 30" girls from St. Maria Goretti High School, caught, roughed up, and held for police. [New York Times, 10-31-03] [Philadelphia Inquirer, 10-31- 03]
Also, in the Last Month
Catholic priest Antonio Caetano apologized for hitting a parishioner on the head when she would not leave after her daughter was denied a place in Sunday school because she registered too late (Souto Redondo, Portugal). The city of Winnipeg, Manitoba, installed 10 surveillance cameras to help combat pilferage at a municipal dump. Vegetable grower A. Duda & Sons introduced a product 15 years in the making, to delight Bloody Mary fans: celery stalks that are hollow in the center (Oviedo, Fla.). [Agence France-Presse, 10-21-03] [Winnipeg Sun, 10-22-03] [Palm Beach Post, 10-25-03]
Halloween Trivia
"Phasmophobia" is the fear of ghosts.
A cup of candy corn has fewer calories than a cup of raisins.
It's illegal to sell a haunted house in New York without informing the buyer.
Eighty-two percent of children take part in Halloween festivities, as do 67 percent of adults.
The first jack-o'-lanterns were made of turnips.
"Samhainophobia" is the morbid fear of Halloween.
Halloween the biggest holiday of the year when it comes to candy sales estimated at $1.93 billion. One quarter of all the candy sold each year is purchased between September 15 and November 10.
The word witch comes from the Saxon word wicca, which means "wise one."
Pumpkins also come in white, blue and green.
In France, more than 30,000 werewolf cases were tried between 1520 and 1630.
Dracula is the most filmed story of all time.
The biggest pumpkin on record weighed 1,385 pounds. It was weighed in October 2003 at a pumpkin festival in Canby, Oregon.
Trick-or-treating is an Irish tradition, based on a custom where wealthy landowners would give food to the poor on Halloween night, believing ghosts would look favorably on them for doing so and spare them from mischief.
In Romanian, Dracula means "Son of the Devil."
The Scots believed in "Samhanach," a goblin who came out only on Halloween and stole children.
Halloween costume sales are estimated at $1.5 billion.
Eighty percent of kids say their favorite Halloween candy is either chocolate or gum.
Pumpkins are fruits, not vegetables.
Pennslyvania was the first colony to legalize witchcraft.
There is a poisonous mushroom called a jack-o'-lantern. These mushrooms are a bright orange-yellow in color and on rainy nights they appears to glow in the dark.
Fifty-one percent of all American adults believe in ghosts. Nine percent of Americans claim to have been in the presence of a ghost during their lifetime.
Americans consume about 20 million pounds of candy corn each year.
The Count Dracula Society was founded in 1962.
In the 17th and 18th centuries, people in costumes and masks would go from house to house, singing and dancing to keep evil at bay. These people were known as "guisers."
Americans spend about $50 million on Halloween greetings.
According to studies, the smell of pumpkin pie is the most arousing to women, followed by lavender, cucumbers, baby powder and Good & Plenty candy.
Parachutes
An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.
The 1st passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player; the Lakers need me, I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.
The 2nd passenger, Hillary Clinton said, "I am the wife of the former U.S. President, a NY State Senator and a potential future president. And I am the smartest woman in American history, so America's people don't want me to die", and she took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 3rd passenger, George W. Bush, said, "I'm the president of the United States of America. I have great responsibility being the leader of a superpower nation." So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped.
The 4th passenger, the Pope, said to the 5th passenger, a 10 year old schoolgirl, "I am old and frail and don't have many years left, and as a Catholic, I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."
The girl said, "That's okay. There's a parachute left for you. America's smartest woman took my schoolbag."
I'M A MOTH A man walks into a dentist's office and says, "Excuse me, can you help me? I think I'm a moth." The dentist replies, "You don't need a dentist, you need a psychiatrist." The man says, "Yes, I know." The dentist asks, "Then why did you come in here?" The man says, "The light was on."
PUT YOUR COAT ON The husband says, "Put your coat on, I'm going to the bar." His surprised wife says, "You're taking me out for a drink?" The husband says, "Don't be silly. I'm turning off the heat."
TWO WORDS Mary Katherine entered the monastery. The priest said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so." Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for five years before the priest said to her, "Mary Katherine, you have been here for five years. You can speak two words." Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed." "I'm sorry to hear that," the priest said, "we will get you a better bed." After another five years, Mary Katherine was called by the priest. "You may say another two words, Mary Katherine." "Cold food," said Mary Katherine, and the priest assured her that the food would be better in the future. On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the priest again called Mary Katherine into his office. "You may say two words today." "I quit," said Mary Katherine. "It's probably best," said the priest, "You've done nothing but bitch since you got here."
CURSED An old man goes to a gypsy to ask him if he can remove a curse he's been living with for 40 years. The gypsy says, "Maybe, but you'll have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
From ANTONELLA LAZZERI in Los Angeles
POP star Prince is banging on people's front doors - after becoming a Jehovah's Witness.
The pint-sized singer tries to recruit people to the religion by calling on homes in his spare time.
But some stunned homeowners have not welcomed unannounced visits from the star, who had hits with Let's Go Crazy and Purple Rain.
A Jewish housewife in Eden Prairie, Minneapolis, told how Prince and his religious sidekick - former Sly and the Family Stone bass player Larry Graham - asked to be let in.
The woman, called Rochelle, said: "Door bell rings. My husband runs upstairs and says, 'Prince is at the door!'
"I say, 'No way!' It was so bizarre. This is Sunday and it's the night of Yom Kippur.
"My first thought is, 'Cool, cool, cool. He wants to use my house for a set. I'm glad! Demolish the whole thing!'
"Then they start in on this Jehovah's Witnesses stuff. I say, 'You know what? You've walked into a Jewish household, and this is not something I'm interested in.'
"He says, 'Can I just finish?' Then the other guy gets out his little Bible and starts reading about the land of Israel.
"They stayed for about 25 minutes and left us a pamphlet. He was very kind."
The pair then drove off. Prince's lawyer Londell Macmillan said he was "very committed" to Jehovah's Witnesses.
Mysterious skeleton to have a proper burial
(Canadaigua-AP) -- A skeleton found in a white coffin in a western New York lodge building will soon have a proper burial. The skeleton of an unknown woman was found in a storage room at the Canandaigua lodge of the International Order of Oddfellows in May. The skeleton in its coffin had been in the lodge for at least 50 years, but nobody knew how it got there. City police say there's no criminal investigation. They say the remains, which had been embalmed, will be buried next week as a "Jane Doe" in a county-owned cemetery. 80-year-old Oddfellows Grand Noble Don Wagner says the skeleton had been used in initiation rituals until he became the head of the lodge ten years ago. During the ceremony, new members stood in front of the open coffin and spoke. There were red lights strung inside the coffin lid. Wagner says he's glad the remains are finally getting a proper burial.
(Copyright 2003 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
'Dead' moose attacked hunter
A hunter's worst nightmare came true for 68-year-old Arne Aurdal after shooting a moose in the forest in Gausdal. Aurdal is considering giving up the sport after being beaten black and blue by the mortally wounded animal, though he survived thanks to a bit of quick thinking.
Aurdal escaped with cuts and a bodyful of bruises, but a clever idea helped him avoid what could have been a painful death, newspaper Gudbrandsdoelen Dagningen reports. "I was sure that my final hour had come, and that the bull was going to kill me. I grabbed onto his horns and hoped that his wild frenzy would end. The minute it lasted seemed like an eternity," Aurdal told the paper. Aurdal, an experienced hunter, had taken the moose down with his first shot, and moved in to finish it off. At that moment, Aurdal was faced with a situation that moose hunters fear but rarely see. "Suddenly the animal reared up and jumped right towards me. In panic, I threw myself onto his horns in the hope that my only chance was to avoid being skewered on the ground," Aurdal said. The moose ended its days in a violent frenzy, thrashing Aurdal around as the man clung on for dear life. "Luckily the bull gave up. The first shot was well aimed, and after a minute of madness it sank to its knees and moved on to the eternal forest," Aurdal said. Aurdal reckons the beast weighed in at a bit under 300 kilos (650 lbs) and was two and half years old. His horns had five points, and Aurdal is making an exception and keeping the antlers as a memento of his near death experience. "Right now I'm eating pills to kill the pain in my beaten body, but in a few years I might look back and laugh," Aurdal said.
Flying moose lands on car's roof
A leisurely Sunday drive came to an abrupt halt for a couple in southern Norway over the weekend, when a fully grown moose suddenly landed on the roof of their car.
"We didn't even have time to think when there came this enormous thud," said a shaken Leo Henriksen after the bizarre incident. He and his wife were cruising along the two-lane Highway 405 in their little red Mazda. The couple was a few kilometers south of Vatnestrom in Iveland township, Aust-Agder, when their involuntary encounter with the moose took place. The moose, a female weighing some 350 kilos (770 pounds), apparently had been running through the forest when she suddenly came upon a cliff leading down to the highway. Unable to stop, the moose seemed to literally fly off the cliff, landing first on the Henriksen's car before catapulting further into the oncoming lane. The moose-versus-motorist drama ended when Randi Olsen, driving in the oncoming lane with her young daughter, was unable to stop and hit the moose that was now lying in the road. The moose was dead when wildlife authorities arrived on the scene. Henriksen suffered minor hand injuries, while his wife and the Olsens emerged from the incident without a scratch. Both cars, however, were severely damaged. Henriksen told the Kristiansand newspaper Faedrelandsvennen that he and his wife lost their house in a fire in mid-January. Now they've lost their car as well, and were hoping for a sympathetic meeting with their insurance agent on Monday.
Puppies thrive after woman nursed them
A young Norwegian mother captured the hearts of animal lovers last fall when she impulsively nursed a litter of puppies that had lost their own mother. Now the surviving puppies are thriving, but four still need new homes.
Kine Skiaker says she's thrilled and touched by the international support she's received after Aftenposten's story on her unusual puppy nursing made headlines all over the world. The story, the most-read ever in Aftenposten's online history, set off a flood of response, with letters pouring in from all over the world. While some people in Norway reacted negatively to Skiaker's puppy nursing, roughly 95 percent of the mail from Aftenposten's international readers was positive. Most praised Skiaker for her motherly instinct that saved the lives of more than half the litter. "I'd just really like to thank everyone who sent such nice messages of support," Skiaker told Aftenposten's Internet edition. "It's so nice to know there are so many kind, warm people out there." Today, more than three months after her Dogo Canario died while giving birth, things have calmed down somewhat, but Skiaker is running a busy household in Siggerud, south of Oslo. In addition to her husband Ivar, who's studying animal behaviour, and baby Emil, four of the 14 puppies that were born are still living with the Skiakers -- along with two other dogs, one of whom is the puppies' "half-brother," as Skiaker calls him, and a few cats. Skiaker looks back on the puppy drama with no small amount of incredulity. It all started, she says, when she and her husband decided to import a male Dogo Canario from Spain. The breed is known as a watch-dog, and Norwegian authorities have been wary of them. But the Skiakers loved the one they brought from Spain. "There are rumours that these dogs can be dangerous, but we've had nothing but good experience with them," Skiaker said. Ill-fated breeding attempt When their dog's mother in Spain later became available, and was pregnant as well, the Skiakers thought they'd try their hand at breeding the dogs, which remain rare in Norway. They've since dropped that idea. Their new dog, Aida, developed complications while giving birth just three weeks after arriving in Norway. Only one puppy emerged naturally. Litters normally number six to 10, but Aida had 14 puppies. She died, as did three of the puppies at or shortly after birth. "I was absolutely desperate," Skiaker recalls. "The first puppy was writhing and squealing, the only way to keep her calm was to hold her tight and close. And they all needed milk. I figured, I had milk." She'd given birth to her own son Emil just a few months earlier. Eight of the puppies ultimately survived. Three have been placed with new owners in the Norwegian cities of Honefoss, Trondheim and Kongsberg. Another, however, died tragically just after New Year when it was attacked by another dog, ironically enough while on its way to a veterinarian to be vaccinated. Discriminating sellers That leaves four still squirming around at the Skiaker home. "We had lots of inquiries from prospective buyers, but not all of them have been what we consider serious," Skiaker said. "We want to find proper homes for them, preferably with families. We don't want the dogs used for defense purposes." It's no cheap undertaking to acquire a Dogo Canario in Norway. Imported dogs can cost up to NOK 40,000 (about USD 5,500), while those bred in Norway cost about NOK 16,000. "They're still small, sweet puppies," says Skiaker. And her toddler son Emil is good friends with all of them.
Truck Crashes, Sends Pigs All Over I-80 Oct. 15, 2003
(KSL News) -- An out-of-control livestock truck closed down down a part of I-80 today and killed nearly a dozen animals.
87 hogs were on the truck as it headed east into Silver Creek Canyon near Park City early this morning.
The driver fell asleep at the wheel and hit a concrete median. The rig overturned, sending animals all over the roadway.
Trooper Doug Devenish, UHP: "It rolled onto its side and as it rolled the trailer split open spilling several of the animals out, and they were killed due to the impact."
The interstate was completely shut down for five hours and traffic was re-routed while the mess was cleared.
Local ranchers volunteered to help round up the hogs. About ten other injured hogs had to be put down. The driver and his passenger were not hurt.
Semi spills 700 cases of beer onto U.S. 52
BROOKVILLE -- U.S. 52 near Indiana 101 was closed for several hours Tuesday when a semi upset and spilled 700 cases of Bud Lite across the roadway.
Driver Michael Maitz of Bowling Green, Ky., was treated and released at Batesville Hospital.
He was headed north when the truck tipped over on a curve.
Indiana State Police spent the afternoon detouring traffic and shooing away people who wanted to help clean up the mess.
Three-year-old's paintings captures attention of galleries and critics
By Jennifer Brice First Coast News
ST. SIMONS ISLAND, GA -- A local artist is already capturing the attention of galleries and critics. An artist so young his "studio" is made of newspapers that line his parent's home.
Dante Lamb has already created 100 paintings in just two years. He's young artist who's blazing a trail before most even pick up a paint brush.
If you take a stroll into the "Monkey Love Desert Bar and Gallery" in St Simons Island, you'll see all eyes are on a new art show. But to understand the abstract paintings, you've got to meet the boy behind the brush -- Dante Lamb.
"Double Poopsy; that's a good name."
A good name for his new painting says the 3 year old. People are saying the little guy is way ahead of his time.
Brit Figueora owns the gallery and says his work is all technique. Figueroa decided to feature the "Little Picasso's" art in her gallery. She says his brush stroke is genius.
"It's not your rigid stroke that would be found in a preschooler."
And he naturally picks good color. "I like the white," Dante says as he squeezes out half the bottle.
Art critics are comparing Dante's work to some of the best in the art world. But if you ask Dante, "They're all originals."
And he's not shy to sell. One painting already went for $85 dollars. Not bad for a tot who started out with crayons and chalk says Dante's mom, Aimee Lamb.
"He's kinda snobby now. He won't even do crayons and chalk anymore."
Mom says the talent came naturally. Dante says he just likes to paint.
Some of Dante's art pieces are in the $300 range. Right now his art is exclusively sold out of the "Monkey Love Desert Bar and Gallery" in St. Simons Island.
Dogs off Victorian menus By Charisse Ede October 15, 2003
EATING cats and dogs will be banned under new laws in Victoria, after reports someone bought a puppy with their next meal in mind.
The legislation, introduced in the Victorian parliament today, came after reports last year that a person had purchased a puppy intending to eat it.
The government has also revealed it receives periodical reports of the consumption of cats and dogs.
But while Agriculture Minister Bob Cameron said there was no evidence suggesting the practice was common in Victoria, there was a need to tighten the law.
"Most Victorians find the practice of killing cats and dogs for human consumption abhorrent," he said.
"These measures will tighten up protection of animals and eliminate loopholes in the existing legislation."
The amendment will ban any person from slaughtering for human consumption dogs, cats or any other animal not defined under the Meat Industry Act as "consumable".
The government has also moved to ban the cosmetic tail docking of dogs, a change supported by vets, animal welfare groups and many dog owners.
Mr Cameron said the cosmetic docking of tails hurt dogs.
"Young dogs and pups have developed nervous systems and do feel pain, like any other animal," he said.
The wide-ranging legislation also:pe??nbsp; Improves public accountability of RSPCA inspectors by including them within the jurisdiction of the Ombudsman.
??nbsp; Increases penalties for a breach of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals regulations.
??nbsp; Improves guidelines and controls on the use of microchip technology to help identify family pets.
??nbsp; Gives stronger powers to councils to crack down on owners of pets that persistently stray.
??nbsp; Improves public protection from dangerous dogs.
Meanwhile, farmers have welcomed a new national Ovine Johne's Disease (OJD) program which ends broad zone-based major trading restrictions.
Mr Cameron said the changes, due to be finalised by December, introduce clear pathways for affected flocks to reestablish trading opportunities.
AAP
Cheeseburger In Paradise? Food Fave Gets Deep Fried
State Fair Munchies Include Kaktus Kutter, Fried Twinkie
UPDATED: 9:31 a.m. EDT October 13, 2003
PHOENIX -- Call it a heart attack on a stick.
Visitors to the Arizona State Fair can climb the Mount Everest of cholesterol with a fried cheeseburger. It's ground beef wrapped around a stick, then wrapped in cheese, coated in batter and deep-fried. The final product looks like an oversize corn dog.
If that's not enough, fairgoers also have the Kaktus Kutter. It's a chunk of hot pepper cheese stuffed inside a green chili, then wrapped in roast beef, turkey or ham. The whole thing is batter-dipped and deep-fried.
For desert, there's always fried Twinkies.
Homecoming Princess scores first touchdown in 67-0 rout
Last Update: 10/12/2003 8:44:32 AM By: Associated Press
(Las Vegas, New Mexico-AP) -- Freshman tailback Vanessa Lucero scored the opening touchdown Saturday in West Las Vegas High School's 67-0 rout of Pojoaque-and was homecoming princess to boot.
But as for football, Lucero said, "It's only a guy sport until a girl joins."
She says both the TD and being princess were equally exciting, the best thing that's ever happened to her.
Her black hair tucked under her dark green helmet, Number 11, all five feet and 103 pounds of her, ran the ball in from the one-yard line with 8:03 remaining in the first quarter.
And it was 14-year-old Dona Vanessa standing there in green and gold with the Dons congratulating her.
Lucero came back into the game as a decoy wide receiver in the fourth quarter and made a block.
She's also on the school wrestling team.
(Copyright 2003 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
Football players suspended after llama dies, sheep painted
The Associated Press
CATAWBA, N.C. (AP) - Five football players at Bandys High School are on in-school suspension after a llama was found dead and four sheep had been painted at the school's Future Farmers of America barn.
School officials said the five will not play in Friday night's game against West Lincoln High School. "The animal died from being overexcited," said school spokeswoman Sonya Gordon. An autopsy showed no signs of injury, she said.
The llama's body and red-painted sheep were found last Thursday. Gordon said she did not know who made the discovery.
When school officials announced what they found at school, the five boys admitted to spray painting the sheep, but said they did nothing to the llama, Gordon said.
Although deputies from the Catawba County Sheriff's Office took an investigation report at 7:30 that morning, Gordon said the school would not press charges.
"Based on the students' records and the principal's decision, they're being punished," Gordon said. "They do show remorse for what occurred."
Suspended for two days, the five football players did not attend practice Tuesday and Wednesday and weren't expected to practice Thursday, said Randy Lowman, head football coach and Bandys athletic director.
"Technically they could play because the suspension is over, (after Thursday) but they will not," Lowman said.
The sheep were not injured during the prank, Gordon said, and the llama will be replaced.
Information from: The Hickory Daily Record
British men, women warned after toothpaste maker's survey
LONDON, Oct 16 - More than half of Britons could have breath that smells worse than their pet's, according to a survey released Thursday. And women are the worst offenders, with three out of five failing a sulfur emissions test, according to research by toothpaste manufacturer Aquafresh.
"SOME MOUTHS may be dirtier than cat litter," dentist Brian Grieveson said in a statement that accompanied the research. "Most people in the UK do not realize that cleaning your tongue is as important as cleaning your teeth," he added. Scots had the best oral hygiene, with only 10 percent suffering bad breath, compared with 27 percent in London. Throughout the nation, 52 percent were rated at a level that could be worse than that of a pet animal. "We are one of the last countries to understand the need to clean our tongue, with people in America and parts of Europe practicing tongue cleaning routinely," said Grieveson.
Secretaries were the freshest profession, achieving 100 percent freshness in the survey of 1,000 people, while retail staff fared worst and received the warning: "You could be losing sales."
Wedding guests 'shoot down plane'
Monday, October 13, 2003 Posted: 0302 GMT (11:02 AM HKT)
BELGRADE, Serbia-Montenegro (AP) -- A small plane crashed near a wedding party in central Serbia, and local media said it was apparently brought down by celebratory rounds fired by wedding guests.
The single-engine Utva-75 plane crashed into a high-voltage power line Friday in the village of Ratina, some 160 kilometers (100 miles) west of Belgrade, the FoNet news agency reported Sunday. It said the pilot and passenger were seriously injured.
Police confirmed the plane crash and said two people were hurt but refused to discuss what brought the plane down and other details.
"Shortly before the crash I saw the plane flying at a very low altitude over a wedding party when guests started firing their handguns and other weapons," eyewitness Zoran Vukadinovic told FoNet, a private news agency.
The left wing of the aircraft subsequently caught fire, and the plane crashed, he said.
Shootings and fatalities are frequent at Serbian weddings because of the centuries-long tradition of blasting away with firearms in celebration.
Attempts to trace Vukadinovic were unsuccessful, with FoNet refusing to divulge his phone number.
The pilot apparently was unlicensed, said FoNet, citing authorities, and the flight was unauthorized.
Man comes 'back to life' at burial October 13, 2003
An 80-year-old Indian man, whose relatives thought he was dead, came "back to life" after being doused with cold water as part of the funeral preparations, a report said.
Velusamy, who uses just one name, "woke up" when he was bathed with cold water, as is traditional for Hindus before a body is burned on a pyre, the United News of India (UNI) news agency quoted family members as saying.
"It's very cold," muttered Velusamy as he got up from the ground at his home in the village of Molapalayam in the southern state of Tamil Nadu, minutes before being taken to the funeral pyre, the report said.
The initial surprise gave way to joyous scenes as Velusamy's relatives rejoiced at having "got back grandpa back from the other world", the report said.
Velusamy was thought to have died of old age after his sister-in-law tried to wake him up for supper.
She found him lying "like wood" and got no response to her frantic calls or after sprinkling water on his face and chest, UNI said.
AAP
Cows Going Wild in Switzerland Patrick Baert, AFP
Oct. 13, 2003 ? Swiss cows have developed a mean streak since being left alone in the wild under a new rearing technique, raising the risk of attack for the unsuspecting rambler.
The classic Swiss postcard scene picturing a happy, brown cow with a bell around its neck munching grass against a backdrop of Swiss mountains is no longer as idyllic as it seems.
In a bid to be more environmentally friendly, farmers are letting their cows roam freely in the countryside with their calves and a lone bull, said Philippe Cossy, a councilor at the Service for the Prevention of Farm Accidents.
"Inevitably, the cow rediscovers her basic instincts, which are much akin to wild animals," he explained.
"She rebuilds self-defense mechanisms and becomes more distrustful and aggressive towards others, be they human or animals," the specialist said.
In a country where agriculture is the most subsidized industry in the world, the Swiss authorities have played a lot of stock in this return to nature.
Faced with excessive supplies of milk, they encouraged farmers to rear cows for meat instead, meaning herds can be left unattended for longer.
"Times have changed," observed Cossy.
"Before, cows were herded back to the stable every evening to be milked, whereas now they are left more and more to their own devices, only returning to the stable in the winter," he said.
Those who work with farm animals are invariably the first to feel the wrath of the vindictive cow. At the start of July, near Locarno in the south, a 27-year-old farmhand was badly hurt by a cow that charged at him after he petted her calf.
But the one million or so ramblers who flock to the Swiss countryside every year are also in danger, as paths take them straight through grazing pastures.
"There are more and more accidents," admitted Cossy.
It most frequently occurs when someone takes his or her dog for a walk and it starts to bark, prompting the cow to charge in self-defense.
If this happens, Cossy advised, it is best to let go of the leash because dogs can run faster than cows so usually escape.
But the owner is often left rather shaken.
The SPAA offers advice to ramblers about the psychology of the cows.
It is important to remember that because the creature has one eye fixed on either side of its head, it has trouble seeing objects directly in front and evaluating distances.
"They scare easily. If someone stands directly ahead or behind a cow, the risk of being hit is heightened," said Cossy.
"It is vital that you are seen by the cow, speak softly to it and avoid running or making sudden movements."
Stupidity stop for TV yields jackpot Letterman show advance man screens candidates
By RYAN E. SMITH BLADE STAFF WRITER
A couple of strong snorts and Diane DeCair had several inches of a cooked spaghetti strand up her nose.
That's exactly where she wanted it.
One more sniff and a cough and the East Toledoan was able to reach in and pull one end of the noodle from her mouth.
Then, with the pasta protruding from both her nose and mouth, she pulled at each end in a flossing motion.
"It's kind of disgusting to watch," the mother of three admitted.
Of course, that's what made it worth doing at her audition yesterday for one of the upcoming Stupid Human Tricks segments on the Late Show with David Letterman.
About 20 locals showed up at the studios of WTOL-TV, Channel 11, some with animals vying for the Stupid Pet Tricks segment of the show.
They were handpicked by Darren Demeterio, the program's tricks coordinator, after they called in and described their tricks.
The result was one messed-up menagerie.
There were border collies playing volleyball with a balloon and a cocker spaniel that knew the alphabet.
There was a woman who lighted a match with her feet and two goldfish that drag-raced on custom-made tracks.
Karen Walker, 40, a high school teacher and nurse from Archbold, spit grapes at her golden retriever, Luckie, who caught them several feet away.
"Doesn't everybody do this with their dog?" she asked.
Twenty-year-old Nicholas Huenefeld of Northwood tried to squeeze and swallow his way to fame as he quickly consumed 24-ounces of ketchup, something he has done five or six times in the last year after trying it once just for kicks.
"It doesn't really affect me," he said.
Denise Zona, 46, of Oregon has long wanted to land a gig on a reality television show, but she said she would settle for a spot on the Late Show with her guinea pig, Rodney.
Although the pet has long showed an ability to kiss people, she and her son, Joe, tried to uncover some new talents specifically for yesterday's audition.
The result was Rodney sitting on a miniskateboard as she rolled it up and down a ramp and a stunt where she opened her mouth wide and let Rodney insert his head so that he could eat a pumpkin seed placed inside.
Mr. Demeterio, who has been in charge of the show's tricks for three years, visits about 20 cities a year in search of stupidity.
He scheduled the stop in Toledo because he never had been here before.
The show typically uses about 12 tricks featuring humans and another dozen with pets during the course of a season, and Mr. Demeterio said he hopes to contact winners at the end of the month. The next trick segment is set for November.
He said he is usually lucky to find one good possibility at each stop.
"The tricks are so hard to find now," he said. "You always want to raise the bar."
In Toledo, though, he might have hit the mother lode.
After a couple of hours yesterday, the man whose mantra is "The stupider the better," could rattle off at least five tricks that seemed to show real promise.
Among them was Ms. DeCair, 40, who explained her spaghetti trick's genesis by joking, "I have teenagers."
Actually, she saw someone do it on television once and decided to try it herself. Now she does it occasionally for her children and their friends.
"I do it every time I cook spaghetti," she said.
Police Nab Vicious Crow by Getting It Drunk Tue Oct 14,10:50 AM ET
BERLIN (Reuters) - German police apprehended a vicious crow which was attacking passers-by by getting it drunk on bait laced with alcohol, authorities said Monday.
The bird eluded its captors after attacking a woman and a young girl at the weekend until cat food soaked in high-alcohol fruit schnapps proved too tempting to resist.
"The crow was completely smashed," said a spokesman for police in the western city of Dortmund.
Police said the crow was sleeping off its hangover in a local animal home.
Woman Gets Jail In Assault On Boy, 4 Hot French Fries Smashed in Face
By Brigid Schulte Washington Post Staff Writer Wednesday, October 15, 2003; Page B01
A woman who chased a 4-year-old boy through a McDonald's restaurant in Montgomery County, pinned him in a headlock and screamed obscenities as she smeared his face with hot french fries was sentenced yesterday to four days in jail and ordered to attend anger management and parenting classes.
Milikia Hayes, 18, of Gaithersburg was nearly nine months pregnant with her first child when the incident took place in May. The boy, whom Hayes did not know, accidentally smeared ice cream on her clothing at a McDonald's in Germantown, authorities said. The boy had turned around while he was in line ahead of Hayes, and his ice cream touched her sleeve.
Hayes started screaming at the terrified boy, who ran from her, authorities said. After catching him, Hayes smeared "boiling hot, greasy french fries" on his face, said State's Attorney Douglas F. Gansler.
"The boy was scared to death," Gansler said. "It is incomprehensible to think that an adult would attack a child of any age in such a manner."
Hayes pleaded guilty to second-degree assault, punishable by up to 10 years in prison. A Circuit Court judge sentenced her to 18 months in jail, with all but four days suspended, and ordered her to attend the classes.
Hayes told authorities that she was on her way to a baby shower and was wearing one of her nicest shirts when she stopped at the McDonald's about 5 p.m. May 17.
"Clearly, her own behavior was inappropriate and egregious for any adult, much less someone about to have her own child," Gansler said. "In getting this type of sentence, we hope it will ensure that she's learned a valuable lesson and will help her in raising her own child."
After the assault, the boy's eyes were swollen, Gansler said. Although he suffered no serious physical injuries, "we don't know what kind of emotional and psychological damage he's had," Gansler said.
Hayes's attorney, Charles Lazar, did not return several phone calls seeking comment yesterday.
"We thought it was important to prosecute her for the conduct," Gansler said. "It was also important for the 4-year-old boy to understand that what this defendant did was wrong and that she was punished for it."
Prosecutor Insults Potential Jurors
PIKEVILLE, KY-October 14, 2003 - A federal prosecutor in a high-profile vote fraud trial has struck a nerve with eastern Kentucky residents by describing some potential jurors in the mountain region as "illiterate cave dwellers."
Assistant U.S. Attorney Kenneth Taylor made the remark in his effort to persuade a judge not to move the trial of former state Sen. John Doug Hays and several of his supporters back to Pikeville from London, about 90 miles west.
Pretrial publicity has been so rampant in the region, Taylor said, that many potential jurors in the Pikeville area would have to be disqualified because they have formed opinions. "All that would remain to try the case would be illiterate cave dwellers."
Residents of the mountain region have long been sensitive to anything that smacks of the old hillbilly stereotype. And the furor that erupted last year over the planned CBS reality series "The Real Beverly Hillbillies" has made some even more vigilant.
"When you say something like this among your buddies at the country club, it's one thing. But when you go out in public and make this kind of statement, you've got to be stone-cold stupid," said Dee Davis, president of the Center for Rural Strategies, a group that has led the fight against such stereotypes.
(? 2003 the Associated Press. All rights reserved.)
SILENT RESPONSIBILITY by Michael Agger Issue of 2003-10-20 Posted 2003-10-13
Best boy. You see the credit scrolling up the screen (other people in your row are shuffling their feet impatiently) and, just for a moment, you let yourself wonder about the designation. What comes to mind will probably be wrong. The best boy is not a beardless youth with a saintly countenance, like Billy Budd. He is not the smirking winner of an on-set popularity contest. He does not have an assistant best boy and there is no such thing as a second-best boy, although the credits for the comedy "Airplane II: The Sequel" do include a "worst boy": Adolf Hitler. Even when the best boy is a woman, the title does not change. As for its origins, they're unclear. In Victorian England, many assistants were called boys, as in "Get me another tankard of ale, boy." One theory posits that the name stuck when an English foreman was hiring theatrical laborers and said, "Give me your best boy!" Steve Comesky, who is the best boy on a remake of "The Stepford Wives," which is now shooting in Connecticut and New York, seems a little uneasy with a title that is at once immodest (best) and somehow denigrating (boy). When people ask him what he does for a living, he says, "I tell them I'm an electrician." Comesky, a tall guy in his mid-thirties with a buzz cut and the shoulders of a wide receiver, says that his job is pretty straightforward: "I do what my boss tells me to do, pal." He works as the chief assistant to the gaffer, otherwise known as the head electrician. Comesky grew up on Long Island, and got into the movie business after graduating from high school. He hangs spots, snakes cable, provides power to the stars' trailers, and helps light the scenery whenever the camera is repositioned for a new shot. He stretches his legs often while on the set; the job involves a lot of standing (always outside the actors' sight lines) and what he calls "silent responsibility"-replacing burned-out bulbs, making sure no one trips over a light cord. When reporters come to visit the set of a movie like "The Stepford Wives," they come to see Nicole, or Bette. They do not, as a rule, come to see the best boy, and when a reporter does, the following things will happen. Everyone in the crew will call the best boy "sir." They will give him a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich with "the crusts cut off just the way you like it, sir!" They will ask him to sign papers marked "Very Important Papers." They will thank him "for all the hard work yesterday . . . the orphans couldn't be more pleased with how you saved them." A production assistant will pretend to be his personal masseuse. Comesky gamely endures the practical joking: "I'll be getting this all day, pal." A long stretch of silent responsibility ensues, and then the gaffer asks Comesky to light a mounted rhinoceros head.
Ohio Woman Dies After Finishing Chicago Marathon
Four Marathon Runners Taken To Hospital
POSTED: 3:31 p.m. CDT October 12, 2003
CHICAGO -- A 29-year-old runner collapsed and died Sunday afternoon just after finishing the 2003 LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon, officials said.
The woman collapsed shortly after 1 p.m. at 2222 S. Michigan Ave. She was given immediate medical treatment but was dead on arrival at Michael Reese Hospital and Medical Center, police News Affairs Officer Laura Kubiak said.
The Chicago Sun-Times identified the woman as Rachael Townsend, a physical education teacher from The Plains, Ohio. The newspaper said Townsend had run past marathons and had no history of medical problems.
Race officials did not release the cause of death. But they did note that warm weather contributed to a higher-than-usual number of cases of dehydration and heat stroke.
In the 2001 Chicago marathon, a 22-year-old man died of apparent heat stroke. In 2000, a 45-year-old man had a heart attack. And in 1998, a 43-year-old woman died because she apparently drank too much water. (See below for details.)
The 26.2-mile marathon began and finished in Grant Park on Columbus Drive near Buckingham Fountain. The course extends north to Addison Street, west to Damen Avenue and south to 35th Street and then up Michigan Avenue to Grant Park.
Previous Fatalities
Luke Roach, 22, of Seattle, died after collapsing near the finish line during the 2001 Chicago Marathon. A medical examiner's office study completed three months after Roach's collapse confirmed that his temperature soared to 107 degrees while he was running and he died of heat stroke.
In the 2000 race, Danny Towns, 45, of Edmond, Okla., collapsed and later died of coronary arteriosclerosis, a hardening of the heart arteries. In 1998, Kelly Barrett, 43, of Littleton, Colo., died three days after a cardiac arrest in the marathon medical tent. Her death was attributed to low sodium levels, apparently from drinking too much water while running.
The Chicago Marathon began in 1977 and currently allows a maximum of 40,000 participants, according to the official Web site. More than 1 million spectators were expected to attend the 2003 event.
Dog in court over Nazi salute
14oct03
A GERMAN man who taught his dog to raise its right paw in a Hitler salute is to appear in court this week in Berlin.
The black mongrel sheepdog, called Adolf, is alleged to have performed the trick at his master's request in front of two policemen.
They had been called in to question 54-year-old Roland T after he shouted "Sieg Heil" and raised his own right arm in a salute.
Roland T, who lives in Lichtenrade, southern Berlin, is further accused of wearing a T-shirt with a picture of the Nazi dictator and of shouting Hitler slogans on previous occasions.
A spokeswoman told AFP that the court would have to decide whether he was mentally responsible for his acts.
She said the dog would not be called as a witness.
Nazi slogans and greetings are illegal in Germany, where the dictatorship remains a hugely controversial and touchy subject.
To get around code symbols within the neo-Nazi scene, the law also forbids words or actions that can be interpreted as condoning or remembering Nazism - and that, said the spokeswoman, can include using a dog to convey the message.
Carola Ruff, of a Berlin animal welfare group, said that any dog could be trained to do what its master wants.
"Raising a paw is what they're born to do," she told the Berliner Kurier.
Martial arts expert kills two raiders
Philip Willan in Rome Monday October 13, 2003 The Guardian
A Chinese martial arts expert was in custody yesterday after turning the tables on four burglars armed with knives, killing two of them and seriously wounding a third.
The 28-year-old man, known as "the doctor" for his practice of acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicine, managed to seize one of the two knives carried by his assailants and saw off the entire group with the ferocity of his reaction.
Magistrates in the central Italian town of Empoli are now seeking to establish whether his self-defence constituted an excessive use of force.
The butchery, worthy of a Quentin Tarantino film, began shortly before midnight on Friday when the four men knocked at the apartment of a Chinese hairdresser in the centre of Empoli.
The hairdresser, her assistant and "the doctor", who operated from the same premises, were reportedly overpowered and tied up before the group, all thought to be in their 20s and 30s, ransacked the apartment.
Disappointed by their meagre booty, the attackers allegedly threatened to rape the two women unless they told them where the rest of their money was hidden.
At this point the doctor managed to free himself, seize a knife from one of the aggressors and deliver a series of lethal stab wounds.
Investigators found the body of one man, who had been stabbed in the heart, sprawled on the staircase and another man bleeding to death in the street from a wound to his leg. A third man is recovering in hospital from a punctured lung.
The doctor was found crouching in the entrance to the building with cuts to his shoulder, face and hands.
Investigators are trying to determine whether he inflicted the injuries while defending himself inside the apartment, or hunted down the burglars after they had fled.
Blind, Disabled Woman Claims Police Brutality
Lawsuit Seeks $4 Million In Damages
PORTLAND -- A legally blind and partially disabled woman is suing the Portland Police Bureau over claims of police brutality.
Eunice Crowder (pictured) says four officers roughed her up and threw her to the ground on June 9.
The officers were called when she reportedly refused to allow city workers to clean up yard debris. The 71-year-old says she was hit with pepper spray and stung by a taser gun. Her prosthetic eye reportedly fell out during the incident.
"If they are Portland's finest, it is a tragedy of what this city has become," a tearful Crowder told KOIN 6 News.
The lawsuit, which will be filed on Tuesday, asks for $4 million in damages.
Although KOIN made a public records request for the police report, the information has not yet been released. However, the bureau did confirm that there was an encounter with Crowder.
Fla. Driver Dies Trying To Cross In Front Of Amtrak Train
POSTED: 6:34 a.m. EDT October 13, 2003
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- Officials say a 19-year-old man was killed this morning when his vehicle was struck by an oncoming Amtrak passenger train.
Anthony Rice of Jacksonville died after his Chevrolet Blazer was dragged more than 2,000 feet by the train. Amtrak spokeswoman Sarah Swain says none of the 45 people aboard the train were hurt.
Investigators told WJXT-TV 4 that Rice drove around the crossing arms at the near the intersection of Moncrief and New Kings Road just after 8 a.m.
Police said Rice died at the scene.
None of the 45 people aboard the train were hurt, according to Amtrak spokeswoman Sarah Swain.
Witnesses told police that the warning lights at the crossing were flashing, the cross-arms blocking the roadway were operating properly and the train's whistle was blaring.
"Everything was in order," said Officer Ken Jefferson of the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office.
The train left New York's Penn Station on Saturday morning and was scheduled to arrive in Miami on Sunday afternoon. Officials in Miami said it would arrive about four hours behind schedule, adding that other arrivals were slightly delayed because of the Jacksonville crash.
